Hank gives Peggy a run for her money as Substitute of the Year when he teaches shop at Tom Landry, but gets into trouble when he brings tools to the class.
Hank has the misfortune of being left all alone with Connie right when she gets her first period. He tries to handle the situation the best way he knows how, and unfortunately, he doesn't.
Hank wins an Alamo beer can contest and travels to Louisiana to complete it for a monetary prize; the Hill Family stays with Bill's relatives, while Bobby picks up foppish habits from Bill's cousin, Gilbert.
Hank strikes up a friendship with a man just like himself, straining his relationship with Dale, Bill and Boomhauer; Cotton puts up his own child as collateral so he can test drive a new car.
As Y2K approaches, everybody fears the approaching millennium, even Dale, who hoards food, Mountain Dew and hamsters in his basement. Only Hank is unaffected by the growing concerns...until there's a propane shortage.
Peggy authors one of Bobby's English papers, only to have a rival substitute teacher uncover the deception; Bill displays an enormous American flag on his property.
Luanne is sick of Hank's rules and regulations, so she rents the house next door with three other people. When she gets angry at them for being irresponsible, she gets upset because she's acting just like Hank would.
Hank's regular barber, Jack, has a mental breakdown and bleaches Hank's hair. Needing a proper haircut for the Strickland Christmas card photo, Hank hires Bill to cut his hair, but receives an absurd invoice from the military afterwards.
Peggy is ashamed of her size 16 feet, but her shame turns to pride when an alleged doctor takes an interest in filming them. She does not know, however, that the man is really photographing them for a sex fetish website.
The Hills go to a country music festival in Nashville, where no one believes Peggy when she says that Randy Travis plagiarized a song she submitted to him.
