Hank and the guys take Bobby to to a Texas/Nebraska college football game. During the game, they help themselves to an empty luxury suite, which puts them in a precarious situation at the end of the ball game.
Bobby is selected to be a powder-puff cheerleader, but Peggy and the rest of the PTA threaten to disband the group after the PTA president decides that it's sexist.
Bobby, Joseph, and Connie are harassed at a water park by a group of bullies, and only Boomhauer can save them. Meanwhile, Bill becomes a minor local celebrity after he starts waving at drivers from the side of the road.
Hank joins a co-op store because the steaks they sell are the best in town. However, he is forced to take extreme measures to get organic steaks when Mega-Lo-Mart buys out the store.
Bobby is in charge of putting together a carnival at Tom Landry Middle School, but a school-appointed diversity counselor takes all of the fun out of it.
Hank reluctantly joins Dale on a "vocation vacation," where Dale will learn basket weaving. However, problems arise when Dale is completely incompetent and Hank becomes the teacher's pet.
Dale discovers that the daughter of one of Bill's lady-friends shares the same DNA as Joseph. He comes to the conclusion that he is the father of both of them.
Hank seeks revenge when he finds out that his car salesman has been taking advantage of him for 20 years, but he gets in trouble when his plan gets out of hand.
While Hank helps out with Enrique's daughter's Quinceanera celebration, Peggy threatens to run Enrique's family out of its neighborhood by introducing it to the Arlen artistic community.
Peggy makes drastic changes around the home after a pop family therapist has her convinced that their family is having intimacy problems, which only pushes Hank and Bobby further away from her.
Peggy hires actors and writes a script to help her open house for a home she can't sell. But instead of selling the house in question, she gets carried away and winds up selling her own house during the dress rehearsal.
When Peggy's birthday celebrations promise to disappoint her once again, she decides to plan her own party aboard a train that features a murder-mystery play.
Hank accidentally drives a mild-mannered man over the edge when he takes the man's wallet from him, incorrectly assuming that the man had just stolen his.