Tom Landry Middle School labels Bobby and some of his other lazy classmates as "special needs" students so that they don't have to take and fail the standardized test and lower the school's numbers.
By observing Bill as an average consumer, Peggy, Dale, and Minh make a fortune in the stock market. But when Bill learns that he is being watched, the gravy train comes to an abrupt halt.
Peggy volunteers as the Arlen Welcome Wagon lady, introducing Hank to a new friend, Wesley Cherish. The relationship sours after Wesley is revealed to be a helicopter parent who accuses Bobby of being a bad influence.
As Luanne prepares to have her baby, Peggy and Lucky's sister fight over how the baby should be delivered and raised. Meanwhile, Bill falls for the woman who greets him at the fast food drive-thru window.
Hank goes to the National Propane Gas Convention in Memphis to introduce Buck for an award, but he makes an ass of himself after Buck finds out that he has a illegitimate son in the propane business.
Bobby plays his guilt-ridden parents against each other after they forget to pick him up at the mall, but the move backfires when Hank and Peggy adopt a new strategy. Meanwhile, Dale tries to prove he can survive in the "wilderness."
Hank breaks his nose practicing for a state championship flag football rematch. But when he gets it fixed by a plastic surgeon, it's so perfect that he doesn't want to play in the game and risk ruining it.
Peggy and Bobby try to impress a trendy mother and daughter that they meet in Bobby's cotillion class, while Hank finds a good new restaurant but hates the seating arrangements.
Hank finds out that he is executor of Cotton's will, which includes flushing his ashes down General Patton's toilet. Meanwhile, Dale and Bill go through a nasty "dudevorce."
Luanne, Peggy and John Redcorn try to establish Luanne's "Manger Babies" puppetry as a paid career. Meanwhile, Dale writes a self-published book, and Luanne steals it in desperation for new ideas.
When Bobby is befriended by a trio of older girls, Hank worries his son is being emasculated; and Hank and the guys build the ultimate homeless cart for a local bum.
Hank is thankful to have something in common with Bobby after his knowledge of beef earns him a spot on a college team bound for the state championships.
Hank is shocked when his mother announces she is marrying a man she has only known for a few weeks. Soon after, the newlyweds celebrate by purchasing an RV and heading to Hank's.
To relieve his loneliness, Bill takes in some roommates. They include a former pin up girl, a Russian who deals in high-end fashion knockoffs and Principal Moss.
Dale attempts to give Joseph the "sex talk" but fails to, and takes a test claiming he has "dementia" leading to him joining a mental home, but then realizes he has to get out before Joseph and Lori go "all the way".
Hank finds a new admiration for Kahn after Kahn's unusually high energy helps him plan out a new Strickland gimmick, but at what cost? Meanwhile, Bobby becomes obsessed with understanding what makes an old vinyl record funny.
