Episode list

Judy is upset because Lauren is taking all easy classes like basic math instead of algebra in high school and she's afraid that she won't get into college. When Linda comes to dinner, Judy vents her frustrations about Lauren to her, and Linda says that in her psychology class she's learned that the best way to deal with a teen is to negotiate with her. Judy scoffs at Linda's suggestion and forces Lauren to take algebra, but Lauren is not even trying and Judy is tired of fighting with her. Bill decides to go to her room and be "Big Angry Guy" to scare her into straightening up, but she ends up laughing at him. Judy thinks she should try to negotiate with Lauren, and Bill suggests that they trick Lauren, telling her that if she sticks with algebra, they'll give her something, keeping it vague, like respecting her privacy. Judy is all for it, so they negotiate with her, using that. Lauren agrees to the verbal agreement. Linda asks if the agreement is in writing and when the answer is no, she tries to get a written contract. Brian finds out about it and says the agreement is too vague, so a real negotiation is established: if she sticks with algebra she gets privacy, and if she washes the dishes she gets phone privileges, and she can study in her room with her friends with the door closed. Judy is happy because Lauren does the dishes without having to be asked and they're not fighting. Problems arise when Lauren brings Jason home to help her with algebra and they will be in her room. Judy is OK with it but Bill is totally against it. Lauren and Bill get into a fight, resulting in Bill ripping her door off its hinges. They talk about terminating the contract until Judy puts a stop to it. Lauren's door is put back into place and Judy finds out that Lauren has Jason doing her homework for her. Bill finally finds a way to get Lauren to keep taking algebra and actually putting effort into it.

Bill tries to spend more father/son time with Brian by teaching him how to drive.

Judy gets involved with the PTA at school and Brian starts growing up.

After complaining that Bill and Judy never give them money, Brian and Lauren get jobs. Brian connects more with his new boss than he ever did with Bill. Now that she is babysitting, Lauren does more for that family than she ever did at home, upsetting Judy.

Brian is happily decked out in his new cheerleader sweater, but Lauren is bummed: she used to be popular, but in high school she's no longer getting accepted into anything she auditions for, most recently the autumn dance show. Not wanting Lauren to resort to taking up clarinet again, Judy drags Bill to visit the school dance teacher. While there, Bill meets the new dance teacher: Madelyne, a former classmate with whom Bill had a passionate summer fling 20 years ago. Following this happy reunion, Lauren gets a small part in the school play. Coincidence? Bill doesn't think so, not with a note from Madelyne asking for help backstage, a comment about a lot of catching up to do, and an offer of chili and beer at her house at night. Bill avoids going to Madelyne's--and Lauren's monologue is cut from the show. Still a coincidence? Being told something of their past relationship, Judy immediately sends Bill back to flirt with Madelyne for Lauren's sake, and Lauren ends up with a bigger role in the show. All a coincidence? Maybe, but will several revelations of that "Free Pass" summer, as Judy proclaims it, bring down the curtain on Lauren's stage career?

Lauren is starting to hang around some new friends; Caitlin, Amber and Jenna. In addition, she's quit choir and Becca is no longer her best friend. While at the mall with her new friends, Lauren is accused of shoplifting a bracelet. Lauren denies it and she says she was trying it on and forgot about it. Bill is willing to give her the benefit of the doubt, but Judy is convinced she did it, because she did the same thing when she was Lauren's age. When Bill and Judy are going out, Judy goes to Lauren's room to borrow some lipstick; She finds an MP3 player under her bed; The one Lauren asked her parents if she could get some money for and they couldn't do it. When they confront Lauren about it, she says she has no idea how it got there and Bill is now convinced that she lied about the bracelet and she stole the MP3 player. For punishment, Lauren is grounded for one month; She has to return and apologize for stealing the MP3 player. In the end we find out that Lauren did not steal the MP3 player. Meanwhile, Linda wants to use Tina in an experiment for her psychology class.

As Bill's 40th birthday approaches, Brian's issues of a delicate and personal nature become issues of trust after Bill discloses complete details of their recent man to man talk to Judy.

Bill and Judy intentionally and unintentionally interfere with Brian and Lauren's personal lives. After it backfires, they try to fix their mistakes.

Lauren writes a paper her role model: Aunt Linda; Judy feels unfulfilled because she's not the creative type; Bill makes an effort to stop insulting Linda.

During a potluck at Lauren's boyfriend's house, Bill and Judy unknowingly buy tickets to his parents' church production of Godspell. They lie to get out of going, then run into the dad on their way to Ozzfest.

It would be the year to have Christmas dinner at Judy's parents' house except they go on a cruise, leaving Judy to think she can finally start some traditional Miller Family Holiday Dinners at her own home for change, but she doesn't count on Bill's mom using emotional blackmail on him to move the feast to her apartment instead. Meanwhile, Linda decides to help the downtrodden over the holidays by putting an ugly duckling from work through a makeover; and several unfortunate incidents keep Tina traumatized about Santa Claus.

Judy fakes being sick so her mom will take care of the daily tasks around the house; when Bill discovers her secret, he decides to join her in the deception.

Brian is the high-school basketball team's statistician and looks like he's friends with them. While picking up the team who are quite drunk, Bill finds out that they call Brian "Jeeves", short for "Jeeves Our Helper Monkey" and made him their errand boy and chauffeur. Bill angrily lets all the players' parents know that they're drunk. While talking to Brian, Bill and Judy learn that being named "Jeeves" is no big deal and that being an errand boy has its perks. But now they've changed the nickname to "Narc" and he's no longer the statistician but demoted to the team mascot, "Coogie." Bill talks to the team and takes responsibility for getting them into trouble with their parents and says that Brian wants to be statistician again. He also suggests that Brian and the family van can help the team prank their rival, Hancock Magnet School. Then Bill tells the coach about the prank and gets the team into more trouble and they nickname Bill "Suck" and keep calling Brian "Narc." The next day, Bill and Judy get a call from the coach, accusing Brian of pulling the prank against Hancock. Meanwhile, Linda dumps "needy" boyfriend Pete and pawns him off on one of her co-workers, then gets jealous when things go well between the new couple.

Bill's father visits.

Bill flirts with a gorgeous server at an exclusive restaurant in town, making Judy upset enough to trick him.

Much to Bill's delight, his mother Louise has a new man in her life: Johnny. Bill's happy since he doesn't have to drive Louise on errands or take her shopping anymore and can be at home relaxing on "Couchy" (the family's couch: his words). But after Bill and Judy meet him at a Chinese restaurant and later for dessert at their place, Judy isn't sure about him, thinking that Johnny grabbed her butt. Unsure if she should tell Bill and Louise, she confides in Linda, and Bill eventually finds out. Judy decides that since everyone will be at her and Bill's house for Louise's birthday, she will make herself very tempting for Johnny to want to do it again by wearing her best pants that will show her butt off, with Linda ready to witness it. Meanwhile, Brian and Tina are wrapping their grandmother's gift, leaving Lauren in a bind. She didn't get her "Nana" a gift, so she declares she'll come up with a poem "from her heart" (she says) by that evening.

The Miller family is preparing for St. Patrick's Day, when they will be participating in the parade. Brian and his friends Donald and Hakim are designing and building a float; Bill watches in dismay, wishes Brian were more like Fitz's son Scotty, who's the captain of the high-school baseball team. When Donald must rush Hakim home, Judy suggests that Bill help Brian out with the float and be more involved in his life and interests. Bill just recruits Scotty to help Brian, who discovers that Scotty is gay--when Scotty asks him out. Brian tells Bill and Judy, and Bill tries to figure out how to break it to Fitz; Judy objects, saying that Scotty should be the one to tell him. Judy, thinking Bill told Fitz about Scotty when he suddenly dropped in, actually blurts it out instead. It turns out Fitz already knew and he's accepted the fact that his son is gay. Bill sees this a "wake-up call" to be part of Brian's life, decides to help him out, but he ends up making matters worse when he makes some changes to the float and it's damaged. In the end, Bill and Brian together find a way to fix the problem, doing it Brian's way. Meanwhile Lauren and Judy are participating in the parade doing Irish step dancing. Judy doesn't dance well and Lauren needs to break the bad news; she tries to get someone else to tell her but everyone refuses. When Lauren finally blurts it out, Judy is puzzled; she remembers past times of being one of the best out on the dance floor. Eventually, she and Linda realize why. Hint: During this time, Tina has a cold, but she actually loves the medicine she's given.

Brian is in a panic because the PSATs are coming soon and when he did a practice test, Hakim did better. He wants to get a tutor, but his parents can't afford one. Judy suggests that he get a job to pay for it--and work at Bill's job at Berensen's. While working there, Brian is assigned to clean the stockroom, which he does quickly and efficiently. This upsets "Mack" and "Fitz", because what he did, might make them work harder. Brian is constantly worrying about doing a good job and about the PSATs, so Bill convinces and teaches Brian to relax and stop worrying about things. Brian starts to relax, then goes on to get too relaxed and considers skipping the PSATs. Judy is upset with Bill because of this--if he skips the PSATs, he will regret it. Bill tells Brian that if he has an opportunity to better himself, he should take it. Brian points out that they used a stockroom bulletin-board announcement about a management test as a hockey puck instead of thinking about trying out. Bill has no desire to take the test, because the promotion means more stress, work for just a little more money, and the test will be next week. Judy says she will help Bill study for the test, plus he needs to take it to set a good example to Brian--he'll be the successful one. Lauren and Tina hear this, and Lauren is insulted. Bill and Judy go through Bill's employee handbook to study, but find it boring and are easily distracted. Bill starts to study on his own and Brian decides what to do about the PSAT test. Meanwhile, Linda's new boyfriend Kevin shows up with his son Jordan, so she recruits Lauren to come along so they can double-date.

Boyfriend issues lead to man issues: Lauren plays basketball to be with Robbie, a boy who accuses her of cheating when she regularly bests him on the court; meanwhile, Linda attends AA meetings just to be near Danny W., her latest interest. Judy, having just given the family car an oil change, explains that men don't like women who can do everything better--unlike Bill. At hearing this, Bill explains that he "gives" Judy some of the "lesser" man duties. Even so, Bill feels the need to prove his manliness for a change and answers Tina's call to kill a spider in her room--demolishing her dollhouse in the process. He says he'll fix it himself, but winds up having trouble and enlisting Brian's aid. He eventually gives up and heads to Tiny Town with Brian to shop for a new dollhouse, only to find that Judy had already been there and purchased an exact replica. Bill defiantly turns back to repairing the doll house. Seeing Lauren let Robbie beat her at basketball and Robbie become a swelled-headed jerk about it, Bill warmly tells her to be herself from now on and beat him. She agrees, since it's more work pretending to be less capable.

Ted and Kathy Halverson have turned their basement into what he calls "Teen Scene," where the kids can hang out and play games. To respect the kids' privacy, they have installed a Parent Bell, which they ring as they shout "parent on deck" whenever they enter. Lauren likes it because Kathy makes great snacks, listens, and offers great advice. Judy says she wants to do this as well, because she wants Lauren to come to her for advice. She and Bill set up the garage as a hangout. Once the kids are hanging out at the Millers', Ted is jealous that they're not at his place, so he installs a foosball table, a bumper-pool table, a cotton-candy machine and a sundae bar. In no time the kids are back. It becomes a case of one-upmanship, and Judy decides to get a trampoline, which turns out to be a mistake. The Millers close down their hangout and let Ted have his "Teen Scene" back.

Brian and Lauren are getting along, and a pile of fake I.D.s and a stash of cash in Brian's bedroom only confirm for Judy and Bill that their teens are up to something. However, trying to find out exactly what it is only shows up their shortcomings as parents.

Bill and Judy want Tina to go to a birthday party held at the home of 1985 Chicago Bear Willie Gault, but Tina would rather go to her best friend's birthday party.

Brian is selected to participate in the accelerated math program at Northwestern University, then starts playing drums in a band at the student union with some others in his college class. Judy gets worried when Brian starts coming home each night past his curfew and scolds him, using many of the parental clichés everyone has heard. When Judy grounds Brian, he becomes very defiant. Bill talks to Brian while Brian is in the garage unpacking his drums, telling him another parental standby: "my house my rules." Brian duly moves into the garage so he can live by his own rules. He proves himself very capable at independent living, but when he's later fired by his fellow band members, he asks Bill if he can move back into the house. Meanwhile, Tina is a Bluebell Girl; she's not interested, but Linda wants to live the Bluebell experience through her because when she and Judy were little, Judy got to be a Bluebell Girl but quit, so their mom wouldn't let Linda join. Also, Lauren sings well, but her family doesn't hear her talent--just her snoring when she's asleep.