Episode list

The inaugural (pilot) show introduces several major characters of the SCTV Network TV studio in Mellonville who would be the backbone of the series. These include Johnny LaRue, Earl Camembert, Floyd Robertson and Moe Green. Featured is a somewhat primitive wraparound concept dealing with Johnny LaRue. The Sunrise Semester Show would end up appearing in every season except the last.

Segment 1: Commercial for Lasermatic Flash Camera Attachment Turns night into day

Segment 2: Sunrise Semester: Bookkeeping with Moe Green Tips on keeping books, and a bit of anti-capitalist ranting

Segment 3: Promo: Unnecessary Surgeon / Malpractice Lawyer When little problems demand extreme solutions, it's Unnecessary Surgeon. And then, defending helpless doctors against greedy patients, it's Malpractice Lawyer. Back to Back!

Segment 4: The Johnny LaRue Exercise Show LaRue crushes rumors about his being gay. Routines include the head roll, jogging on the spot, working out with the fridge door and eating a sandwich

Segment 5: SCTV A.M. News Today: Big News / Little News Floyd has some big news items. Earl has some little local news items. Frustrated, he makes up a big item of his own.

Segment 6: Commercial: Evelyn Woods Speed Talking School Don't waste time communicating

Segment 7: Backstage Real life stories of the exciting people who make television. Johnny's ratings are down, his show is canceled, and his accountant Moe informs him he only has 14 cents. And, he can't get it up. Filled with self-loathing, he goes for help.

Segment 8: Public Service Announcement: Stop Those Depressing Ads A plea to stop depressing ads

Segment 9: Masterpiece Theatre: The Girls of Vienna Alistair Cook introduces this week's Freudian drama, by Ibsen: "The Girls of Vienna Part XII--Betty Freud." This is a drama about Sigmund Freud's wife, Betty. Her friend George is interrupted by Johnny LaRue looking for help. Johnny goes on a rampage.

Segment 10: SCTV P.M. News: Big News / Little News continued Robertson interrupts Earl's item with news of Johnny LaRue's rampage, possibly the biggest disaster in entertainment history

Segment 11: Words To Live By: Joni Newton Buffy We are all one.... and that sort of cosmic thing

Segment 1: Yoga with Swami Banananda The Swami starts with stretching exercises for the legs

Segment 2: Captain Combat Captain Combat's guest is Mr. Green Fatigues, who brings Mr. Schnauzer, who has stopped talking. They clean Mr. Schnauzer, accidentally killing Gunny Rabbit.

Segment 3: Public Service Announcement: Fat Chance for the Sub Sahara Help out Arabs with stomach aches

Segment 4: English for Beginners Perini frustrates her English teacher

Segment 5: SCTV A.M. News Today: Wire Services on Strike They don't have much information

Segment 6: Commercial: Stan Musial's Greatest Hits From that great infield single to the grand slam home run

Segment 7: SCTV A.M. News Today Part 2: Gus Gustofferson Floyd interviews Gus Gustofferson, security guard, about the shooting death of puppeteer Lampeer. Apparently, he wasn't killed by a Schnauzer, but shot in the back with a revolver.

Segment 8: Commercial: Sale of the Century A stirring pitch to sell England

Segment 9: Gus Gustofferson: Security Guard Gus investigates the murder of puppeteer Knowlten Lampeer on the set of Captain Combat. He finds most of the staff, including himself, disliked the puppeteer

Segment 10: SCTV Movie of the Week: Wara, Wara, Wara The story of the Allied advance into Italy. The Italians plan their surrender. The Americans talk about what they'll do after the war. The General reads a letter from his wife, who reminisces about their honeymoon in Italy before the war.

Segment 11: SCTV P.M. News: Paper Shuffling Earl shows Floyd how to straighten his papers.

Segment 1: Station Announcement: Ethnic Disclaimer Harold insists that any racist jokes in the show do not reflact the management's views.

Segment 2: Sunrise Semester: Gypsy Mythology with Dr. Ernest Bruter Dr. Bruter describes how Gypsies were created.

Segment 3: The Leutonian Hour The Leuronians do a dance. A fight breaks out with the Gypsies.

Segment 4: Promo: Plainclothes Mountie Curtis tracks down criminals on horseback.

Segment 5: Out Patient Three jocks are in for a vascetomy.

Segment 6: Hints for Homemakers: Amish Food Money saving tips on feeding your family.

Segment 7: Commercial: North American Stethoscopy Institute

Segment 8: Theater North American Lin Ye Tang (a Canadian) introduces the great Canadian play, "We're Gonna Be Alright, You Creep, Leaving Home and All, Eh?" (Johnny's home from hockey camp, and the family sits down for dinner).

Segment 9: Commercial: Golden Hits of the 11th Century With each album you order, a one year temporary indulgence.

Segment 10: Words to Live By: Ernest Bruter Ernest casts doubt on the ten commandments.

Segment 1: The Sammy Mauldin Show: Lorna Minelli, Trish Nutly joined already in progress. Lorna sings her mother's signature song. Bobby Bittman makes in impromptu appearance to plug his upcoming special. Sammy and Bobby trade compliments. Trish Nutly, a young new star, is Sammy's next guest...she's disgusted and tells them what a bunch of phonies they all are.

Segment 2: Sunrise Semester: Classical Greek with Alki Stereopolis The dialogue between Menelaus and Pericles.

Segment 3: Commercial: Spray-On Socks No more droop around the ankles.

Segment 4: The $211,000 Triangle Bobby Bittman screws it up for contestants.

Segment 5: Cooking with LaRue: Cat Food Johnny has a great recipe for the under-employed

Segment 6: Backstage Lorna auditions for a part that Trish already has nailed down.

Segment 7: Crosswords Part 1 Alistair Cook introduces an obscure Pinter play.

Segment 8: Promo: The Exorcist of Oz Lorna Minelli as Dorothy

Segment 9: Crosswords Part 2 Crosswords continues.

Segment 10: Commercial: Shakespeare's Greatest Jokes Including footnotes, so you can get the jokes you get.

Segment 11: Words to Live By: Father Michael Meyer Father Meyer reads from the book of Caucasians.

Segment 1: Promo: Baa, Baa, Black and White Sheep "She was just a flying nun until Pearl Harbor"

Segment 2: Sunrise Semester: Faking Orgasms with Dr. Cheryl Kinsey Human Sexual Response, part 4. Some useful phrases for faking an orgasm: "Don't stop lover, please don't stop;" "Oh you're good, you're so good;" "Make me a woman, big boy;" "Oh, I've got the music in me."

Segment 3: Promo: It's an Unusual World, Isn't It? This week, Uri Geller, a hospital where dead celebrities are living as vegetables, and a martial artist.

Segment 4: Witness to Yesterday Host Patrick Watson talks to Joan of Arc.

Segment 5: SCTV A.M. News: Earl in San Francisco Ragtime piano playing world record broken. Earl didn't quite make it to San Francisco to do a feature on an upcoming earthquake.

Segment 6: Commercial: The Amanda II Microwave Oven Cooks a roast in only three seconds.

Segment 7: Public Service Announcement: So You're Dead...Now What? Seven simple warning signs that you may be dead.

Segment 8: Match Unto My Feet: Passover Match Unto My Feet visits the Dithers family at passover dinner. Father Duffy (from San Francisco) tries to learn about passover. Mr. Dithers leads the service while the children make a racket, and the younger son wants out of the family business.

Segment 9: Promo: AC/DC In the morning she's a Mrs., in the afternoon she's a Ms., in the evening she's a Mr.

Segment 10: Words to Live By: Father John Duffy The Father talks about the sense of humor, relates a Nancy cartoon, and tells a story about the patron saint of the sense of humor.

When a young man introduces his fiancee to his parents, events take a spooky turn. The White House is full of mischief in "Welcome Back President Kotter." Connie Franklin's most depressing pop songs are for sale.

A parody of "Rocky" features Rocky Balboa managing a chubby boxer named Hefty.

Contestants risk a hellish fate on the Dante's Inferno game show. In his first-ever Monster Chiller Horror Theatre, Count Floyd presents a parody of Marie Curie.