Roy Brush aspires to be a great footballer, and success seems likely when he scores for England in the European Cup Final. He also becomes a national hero when he saves a little lad from drowning. But Roy has a secret--he is gay--and the editor of the scurrilous "Scum" tabloid makes outing him his business. However, with his manager's help, Roy is able to triumph at an inspirational climactic football match, where his tears touch the heart of the nation--and pundit Jimmy Twizzle gets very high on mushroom tea.