I Used to Be Funny

A story of murder, love and following the American dream is crushed by the reality of obtaining a real job and paying bills, all told through song and dance! Told in a non-linear style, Little Johnny is a small boy who is drowned in the Hudson River and his murderer is plagued by his actions and attempts to give Little Johnny the life he always deserved.

What do a mobster, a dog and peanut butter have in common? Bellman Tim Porter is about to find out. On a routine bag checkout, Tim Porter discovers there is nothing routine about this day. Tim finds the hotel's guest, T.J. Starko, naked, dead, and with over three million in cash. Torn between doing the right thing or keeping his newly found fortune, Tim summons the help of his co-worker and hopeful love interest, Brittany Lazure. Brittany coerces Tim into a high stakes gamble of stealing the cash and the dead body. With a very ripe, dead mobster and a whole lot of money, Tim and Brittany make their escape. But, their escape isn't as clean as they had hoped. The dead mobster's brother, Joe Starko, is quick to pick up on their trail. While Joe combs Tim's apartment for clues, Tim's wacky friend and paintball junkie, Elway shoots the intruder with a paintball pellet. Joe abducts Elway and the only thing keeping him alive is the fact he knows where Tim and Brittany are. Tim and Brittany find safety at a mountain home in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. Their pleasant evening is soon shattered when Joe and Elway show up at the house and all hell breaks loose. Now they can either sweat to death in a sauna or give up the money...

There is always love somewhere in you.

From the sick and corroded minds of Blaise Impostato comes a tale of gratuitous violence, cannibalism, rape, and ravenous revenge. These new masters of the Slasher Genre would like to introduce you all to Detective Dirt; the one man who has the experience to save a seedy Long Island town from the merciless psychopath. Relish the moments as you soon discover that Dirt's uncanny police skills are both a blessing and a curse as he tracks down a nameless killer who is identifiable by his horrific deeds and unique tattoo. Become absorbed in your darkest and most perverted thoughts, and most importantly don't be afraid to crack a smile, as you subtly pull for dirt to catch his nemesis.