1996

S1.E1 ∙ First Episode

Wed, Sep 18, 1996

Susan re-examines her life right before she walks down the aisle. She realizes her groom isn't what she thought he was.

6.5 /10

S1.E2 ∙ Dr. No

Wed, Sep 25, 1996

Susan is assigned to report on a self-help guru whose technique involves teaching people to say "no."

6.6 /10

S1.E3 ∙ The Best Laid Plans

Wed, Oct 02, 1996

Vicki tries to get Susan and Luis to date. Jack's prized boxing gloves disappear.

6.7 /10

S1.E4 ∙ Suddenly Susan Unplugged

Wed, Oct 09, 1996

When Susan's ex-fiancé turns off the utilities in the apartment, she must deal with the utility companies for the first time in her life.

6.7 /10

When her basketball team finally makes the play-offs, coach Vicki begs Susan to substitute for a pneumonia-stricken player, and Susan surprises everyone by displaying true athletic talent. Luis' photographic portraits of Nana reveal much more of Nana than Susan expected.

6.4 /10

S1.E6 ∙ Lie! Lie! My Darling

Wed, Oct 30, 1996

Jack wants to show his gratitude for the work everyone put to the latest issue and offers to take everyone to see his favorite movie, The Day the Earth Stood Still. Turns out it is also Todd's favorite movie. Susan is supposed to have dinner with her parents, but lies to them that something came up and goes to the movies with the others. However, she is consumed by guilt and because of a childhood incident she is convinced that Fate (or whatever) will punish her for the lie.

6 /10

S1.E7 ∙ Golden Girl Friday

Wed, Nov 06, 1996

At Susan's urging, Jack hires a friend of Nana's, a seemingly sweet senior citizen, who ends up suing The Gate for age discrimination.

8 /10

S1.E8 ∙ Beauty and the Beasty Boy

Wed, Nov 13, 1996

Susan tries to change her image for a singer (Simon Templeman) in a rock band.

6.3 /10

S1.E9 ∙ Cold Turkey

Wed, Nov 20, 1996

Susan decides to host a Thanksgiving party to her workmates. Luis is videotaping the event for his relatives. Then Susan notices that the oven is broke. Against all odds, she manages to get a repairman on Thanksgiving, but this specific repairman, Artie, has a sharp tongue and a faint heart.

6.8 /10

S1.E10 ∙ Was It Something I Said?

Wed, Dec 11, 1996

Jack persuades Susan to be his slimy brother-in-law's "plus one" at a fund-raiser party. At the party Jack gets wasted and Susan takes him to her place to sober up. Before falling to sleep, the drunken Jack muses on what might have been, which in turn makes Susan wonder what might be.

6.5 /10

S1.E11 ∙ The Walk-Out

Wed, Dec 18, 1996

The gang in the office does not receive a proper Christmas bonus and decide to protest by - you guessed it - walking out. However, there is a twist - isn't there always? - they don't know.

6.2 /10

S1.E12 ∙ The Me Nobody Nose

Wed, Jan 08, 1997

Susan claims that looks are just as important as character in society i.e. beautiful people don't get preferential treatment. Vicki and others disagree, so Susan decides to prove her point by getting an enormous prosthetic nose and write an article about one week of life as a woman with huge nose. Sadly, she chose to start her empirical test on the day when she is introduced to the magazine's handsome accountant, Elliot. Meanwhile, Jack is helping Luis to prep for his citizenship test.

6.1 /10

S1.E13 ∙ The Ways and Means

Wed, Feb 26, 1997

Jack assigns Susan and Vicki to write a parody of relationship guides, called "The Ways and Means". A problem arises when readers take the parody for real and the girls, pretending to be doctors, get invited to a morning talk show. Women have found Susan and Vicki's nonsense advices actually work. When Susan and Vicki don't expose themselves, they get invited to The Rosie O'Donnell Show. Meanwhile, Todd claims that Luis's accent makes him irresistible to women and sets out to prove it by trying it on random women. And it actually works! Luis, of course, decides to try to prove that he can still pull women without his accent.

6.3 /10

S1.E14 ∙ What a Card

Wed, Mar 05, 1997

Jack's grandfather has just passed away, but Jack is upbeat. Susan is going to the wake with Jack, but then realizes she accidentally sent Jack's grandmother a card that says "Do Me Big Time". Vicki gets a "dirt cheap" trip to Acapulco and asks Luis to teach her some basic phrases in Spanish. When Vicki shows no respect for the beauty of the language, Luis decides to teach her a lesson by mistranslating the phrases Vicki wants to learn. Todd has saved a woman from choking to death and gets a visit from federal government agents, who tell him that she was the presidents cousin and now the president owes Todd a favor. Todd declares that he wants to see Area 51.

6.3 /10

S1.E15 ∙ Love and Divorce American Style: Part 1

Wed, Mar 12, 1997

For the first time in her life, Susan has sex on a first date. She quickly starts dating Adam, and the relationship starts to turn serious. Then it turns out he has kids - which terrifies Susan. Luis has taken some pictures of Vicki at the wharf, but Todd notices that he has also captured two celebrities on the picture. Vicki suggests that since Todd bought the film, they sell the pictures for tabloids and split the $30,000 reward. But Luis states that it is against his professional ethic. Vicki then starts plotting how to get her hands on the photos. Jack tries desperately to avoid having to spend an evening with Margo at a benefit event.

5.9 /10

S1.E16 ∙ Love and Divorce American Style: Part 2

Wed, Mar 19, 1997

Susan has spent another passionate week with Adam. Vicki, on the other hand, has lost in "strip Jeopardy", and has decided to increase her wisdom by attempting to read War and Peace. Jack has got himself an apartment and he invites Todd and Luis to visit in order to bond with them outside work. Together, they proceed to turn the apartment into a 'man's' place. Two night's later, the project is almost realized and they hold a party with lots of single women. Elsewhere, Susan and Adam should be going to an event, but Adam's babysitter has canceled at the last minute. Since Adam is the keynote speaker, he has to go. Susan volunteers to babysit, fully aware of the hostile attitude the kids have towards her. However, she is not aware of the surprise visitor who will be appearing at the doorstep. At the office, Vicki predictably falls asleep on War and Peace.

6.4 /10

S1.E17 ∙ Love and Divorce American Style: Part 3

Wed, Mar 26, 1997

After witnessing Susan and Adam's kiss, Jack has disappeared into the woods - literally. Susan has trouble deciding whether to agree to move in with Adam or not. When Jack finally returns, he's been in a snowboarding accident and met the new love of his life, a German amazon Kate, who bears a strange resemblance to someone Jack knows. And for some reason, Susan takes dislike to her and advices Jack to slow down. They argue and Susan slams the door on her way out. Later, when they've calmed down, Jack advices Susan to move in with Adam, but when Susan goes to surprise Adam with her decision, she's in for a surprise too. After belittling and insulting Menudo, Todd gets a threatening letter, followed by Menudos who stalk him.

6 /10

S1.E18 ∙ With Friends Like These

Wed, Apr 09, 1997

Susan's old friend Paula contacts her and wants to get reacquainted. She has divorced from Susan's ex-fiancée Kip's best friend Scott, having been inspired by Susan leaving Kip at the altar. Susan decides to support her. Vicki thinks Paula does need any support. Todd claims that one cannot abandon one's friends. Vicki guesses correctly that Todd is talking about his "dweeb" friend Jerry, who is 26 and lives at home. Susan points out that one cannot compare Paula to Jerry and that it is not like Susan is to become the center of Paula's universe. Dwight points out that he had a similar illusion of a certain person. Todd visits Jerry and tells him to look at his life: Jerry has not moved on from childhood hobbies. So Todd decides to try to get Jerry live a little in the real world. Paula comes to see Susan at work and presents her resume - one which is not that impressive. She needs Susan's help to make it more impressive. Turns out that Paula has no one else but Susan in her life. When she becomes Susan's neighbor, Susan realizes that Paula is consuming her life.

6.3 /10

S1.E19 ∙ Where the Wild Things Aren't

Wed, Apr 16, 1997

Jack thinks the gang *needs* a special kind of vacation, so he takes them to a surprise 48 hr vacation in a cabin and the surrounding wilderness. Jack insists that this is exactly what everyone needs, but nobody is particularly excited. The fact that he's hidden everyone's breakfast in the wilderness starts a mutiny, but Jack escapes into the woods with the car keys. Susan, Vicki, Luis and Todd fan out to find him. Everyone encounters something unexpected.

6.2 /10

S1.E20 ∙ A Boy Like That

Wed, Apr 23, 1997

Susan has decided that it is time to stop feeling sorry for herself because Adam left her. So she's bought a sexy new outfit. Vicki finds news that Susan's ex-fiancée Kip is now engaged to a new woman, which causes her insomnia. Weekend is about to start and Luis wants everyone to see his little brother Carlos whom he hasn't seen in over 10 years. Susan proposes that they take Carlos see the town. Jack can't make it so Susan and Vicki go out with Luis and Carlos. To Luis's surprise, Carlos has lost *a lot* of weight and become a really handsome man. Vicki immediately target's her, but Carlos has a secret that not even Luis knows.

5.6 /10

S1.E21 ∙ Family Affairs

Wed, Apr 30, 1997

Susan sees her father with another woman and assumes the worst. Later at her parents' wedding anniversary party, Susan finds it hard to keep the secret from her mother till her mother reveals a secret of her own. Which rocks her parents' marriage.

6.4 /10