Episode list

Malcolm & Eddie

My New Friend's Wedding
As Malcolm laments selling the bar and losing his girlfriend, Eddie's job at a Pittsburgh scrap yard has turned out to be far less than advertised. Tired of his boss's profligate spending at his expense, Eddie takes matters into his own hands. And after crushing Steve's new truck, he arrives in Kansas City where he is surprised at Malcolm's sorry state. At the site of the old McGee's, Malcolm and Eddie now find an oxygen bar catering to an entirely different clientele. Upon deciding to give its new fare a try, Malcolm complains about having been dumped by a woman for the first time in his life. In an attempt to console him, Eddie recalls how they first met. And in hopes of cheering him up, he recounts being left at the altar by Malcolm's cousin. Recalling the fateful wedding day, Eddie remembers how Malcolm consoled him and then helped with the embarrassment of having to tell everyone. Making it clear that he cannot go back to his job in Pittsburgh, Eddie suggests teaming up again. And that's when the two old friends agree to start a new jazz club they call The Fifty-Fifty Club.
0 /10
Back in Business
It's only after Eddie moves back in that Malcolm discovers his former partner frivolously spent all the money he made from their sale of their old building. While Eddie has plenty of toys to occupy their time, he and Malcolm are $20,000 short of what they need to open their jazz club. At the office of T.R. Hawkins, the man who bought their building, Malcolm and Eddie learn he now wants much more for it than what he paid them. And while Eddie promises to provide the inspiration, he relies on Malcolm to come up with a plan to launch their new venture. At the oxygen bar that occupies the former McGee's, business isn't booming. Hoping to take advantage of the current tenant's woes, they offer to rent the building from Hawkins instead. However, when he wants much more than what the oxygen bar is paying, the boys are back to square one. At the bar, Malcolm and Eddie try to get its owner, Leonard Rickets, to admit his business is a failure and throw in the towel. However, without the bar, Leonard not only doesn't have a job, but he doesn't have a place to live either. So, when Malcolm and Eddie agree to sublet the bar and give Leonard a job, all for far less money than Hawkins wanted, they beat the owner at his own game and set out to open the Fifty-Fifty Club.
7.8 /10
Silenced Partner
As they are preparing for the grand opening of the Fifty-Fifty Club, Malcolm seeks Eddie's advice on everything from beer glasses to the menu. But, when Eddie prefers to concentrate on the club's musical entertainment, leaving the other decisions to him, Malcolm suspects his best friend feels guilty over not putting up any money to get their club off the ground. Meanwhile, when Nicolette quits the police force, Malcolm hires her to be a waitress at the club. As Malcolm continues to ask his advice and then just as quickly ignores it, Eddie orders T-shirts to give away at the opening. When Malcolm complains about not be consulted first, Eddie decides that his partner should make all the decisions from now on. But once Malcolm is forced to deal with the consequences, he regrets having offended Eddie. Meanwhile, as Leonard hires his cousin to be the club's new bartender, Nicolette balks at Malcolm's choice of waitress uniforms. Wanting to be a financial contributor, too, Eddie turns to their landlord, T.R. Hawkins. While Hawkins doesn't want to loan him the $20,000, he is willing to make an investment in the club in exchange for a stake in the business. Then, after Eddie comes up with enough money to make their opening a big success, Malcolm learns that he's started to work on restoring Hawkins's collection of classic cars in order to get the money. Finally, Malcolm and Eddie are forced to take Leonard aside and remind him that, in spite of what he told his cousin Doug, they are the owners of the club.
0 /10
Twisted Sisters

Sun, Oct 25, 1998
At the Fifty-Fifty Club's first Halloween party, Eddie is electrocuted after accidentally spilling a drink on his microphone. However, as Malcolm, Nicolette and Doug come to his aid, Eddie reveals that it was yet another in a series of Halloween pranks he's played on his partner over the years. And once they recall many of Eddie's past efforts, he and Malcolm head to an out of town party to celebrate Halloween. After running out of gas on the way back home, Malcolm and Eddie check into a nearby motel for the night. Although their evening gets off to a rocky start, a beautiful guest soon invites them to join her and her sister for a drink. However, as Malcolm is getting to know Veronica, Eddie discovers that Jody isn't nearly as attractive. And though Malcolm encourages him to tough it out, Eddie balks until Jody decides she wants to spend the night with Malcolm instead. As Eddie tries to get some time alone with Veronica, Malcolm claims that he can't bring himself to stay with Jody. Overhearing the sisters arguing violently next door, Eddie finds them both lying dead in a pool of blood. But, after getting Malcolm and returning to the girl's room, Eddie is surprised to find that they've both disappeared. Told by the manager that he saw the ghosts of two sisters, who stabbed each other to death at the motel on Halloween ten years ago, Eddie decides he's going home. However, he's nearly scared to death one more time by Jody and Veronica before learning it was all an elaborate practical joke staged by Malcolm.
0 /10
Dream Girl

Sun, Nov 01, 1998
After impressing the lovely and interested Tracy Burke, Malcolm finds himself three weeks into what is shaping up to be a serious relationship. As Malcolm is certain that he's found the woman of his dreams, Eddie is besieged by obscene phone calls from an admirer. And once Eddie starts dating her, he's also found the perfect mate, unaware that it's Tracy. Only after their respective infatuations causes them to lose interest in other women do Malcolm and Eddie realize there's a problem. Comparing notes, they discover that, while their girlfriends are quite different, the are both the same woman. However, upon finding Tracy at her apartment, Malcolm and Eddie's protests are cut short when another boyfriend arrives for a romantic evening. Embarrassed at being beaten at their own game, Malcolm and Eddie return to the club to lick their wounds. As a result, each of them pledges to take a break from dating in order to heal. But it doesn't take long for the guys to get back into the swing of things.
0 /10
Menace II Theology
While at church with her friends, Nicolette volunteers to deliver meals to the congregation's elderly members. However, just as Reverend Hughes is looking for someone to teach Sunday school, Leonard's spilled coffee startles Malcolm and Eddie. And when the Reverend mistakes leaping to their feet as an eagerness to teach, Malcolm and Eddie find themselves offering to share the teaching duties. After Nicolette refuses to let him and Eddie out of their responsibility to the class, Malcolm arrives at Sunday school prepared to teach the story of Moses. However, his detailed historical analysis only stupefies his young charges. But, if Malcolm's lesson bored the youngsters to tears, Eddie's permissive approach the following week only created chaos. As word of their respective disasters reaches the congregation, Malcolm and Eddie are ready to resign. Admonishing them not to give up so easily, Nicolette encourages her friends to find a creative solution to the problem. So, after enlisting Leonard in the effort, they recreate ancient Egypt for their class during a very special dramatic rendition of the story of Moses and Pharaoh.
6.3 /10
Love Thy Neighbor
Because of their success, Malcolm and Eddie decide that now might be the time for the Fifty-Fifty Club to expand. After drawing up plans to take over Eddie's old repair shop, he and Malcolm invite their landlord to hear their proposal. And that's when they learn that Hawkins has already rented the old garage to dance teacher Laura Morales. After dropping by Laura's new studio, Malcolm and Eddie both hit it off with their new neighbor. But when Malcolm offers $50 to help her find another location, Laura will hear nothing of it. Then, following a problem that leaves the entire building without any electricity, and some early morning noise coming from the studio, Malcolm calms an irate Eddie before going to see Laura himself. While prepared to get tough, Malcolm is surprised to find that Laura has already dealt with all their problems. And once she offers to pay for having his car towed out of her parking space, too, Malcolm is impressed with her efforts to be a good neighbor. Realizing that his partner has been seduced by Laura's charms, Eddie claims he can get her to move. But after he ends up dancing with Laura, Eddie also agrees that she should stay.
8 /10
Teed Off

Sun, Nov 08, 1998
On the eve of closing a big real estate deal with wealthy developer J.P. Montgomery, Malcolm and Eddie's landlord, T.J. Hawkins arrives at the Fifty-Fifty Club to celebrate. To seal their deal, Hawkins has invited Montgomery to play golf at his club. But, when the others in the foursome cancel, Malcolm and Eddie offer to fill in. After striking a deal with Hawkins for a few rounds of golf at his exclusive country club, Malcolm and Eddie arrive for the match. Although both Malcolm and Hawkins balk at making a wager, Eddie accepts Montgomery's offer of a $100 a hole. Owing Eddie $500 after 13 holes, the real estate tycoon then suggests increasing their bet. But after he agrees and Montgomery suddenly turns up the heat, it's clear that Eddie's been taken for a ride. With one hole left to play and Eddie down $1,000, Malcolm points out that if Montgomery can cheat at golf, he wouldn't think twice about cheating on their deal, too. And once a phone call proves that Montgomery is playing him against another potential investor, Hawkins challenges him to a contest -- one which will give the winner a $4 million advantage on their deal. Finally, after Hawkins agrees to cover his losses and give him and Malcolm access to his collection of classic cars, Eddie takes on Montgomery - and wins!
9.8 /10
Requiem for a Lightweight
While onstage at the club, Eddie finds himself being relentlessly heckled by Jo Jo Johnson. After he returns the insults, Eddie is challenged to a fight. Despite Malcolm's warning, he agrees to square off with Jo Jo at Knuckles' Gym. But as he goes into training with Malcolm, Eddie has second thoughts once Nicolette reveals that Jo Jo was a boxing champion in prison. In an effort to save Eddie from a brutal beating, Malcolm suggests that his friend take a dive. Determined to take Malcolm's advice to heart, he arrives at the gym for his match with Jo Jo. But after getting in a few good licks, Eddie reconsiders his plans to lose. And once Jo Jo delivers another insult along with a flurry of damaging punches, Eddie is determined to fight to the finish. Although he worries about his best friend, Malcolm gives Eddie all the encouragement he can muster. As Jo Jo continues to land some solid punches, Eddie holds his own as the fight goes on. And even though he takes a beating he'll never forget, Eddie finally wins.
8 /10
Bowl-a-Drama

Sun, Nov 15, 1998
When Malcolm's older brother drops in unexpectedly, Nicolette makes it clear that she's more than a little interested in him. As the competitiveness that has always existed between the McGee brothers bubbles to the surface, Nicolette is disappointed to learn Trey is married. And when she suggests they come to the bowling alley where she's about to start working, Malcolm asks Leonard to come along and keep the competition from ruining the evening. At the bowling alley, Leonard quickly sees that keeping Malcolm and Trey from fighting is a lot of work. Despite his efforts, the two brothers are soon arguing over everything from technique to keeping score. Meanwhile, Nicolette doesn't appreciate how her customers are treating her. And following a run in with the boss's wife, she quits. After a disagreement over the score, Malcolm starts to walk away until an insult hurled by Trey brings him running back. After breaking up their fight, Leonard insists that Trey apologize. Left to settle their differences alone, Malcolm reveals how disappointed he was that Trey left home following their parent's divorce. Confessing to have always regretted leaving like he did, Trey then admits how proud he is of Malcolm. And after Trey announces that he's about to become a father, he and Malcolm finally make amends.
0 /10
That's What Friends Aren't For
After agreeing to stay late and help out at the club, Nicolette is surprised when Malcolm complains about her missing a weekly staff meeting. Already feeling put upon after Malcolm orders her to work on Thanksgiving, Nicolette is harassed by an unreasonable customer. And when Malcolm refuses to back her up in a showdown with Mick Steinmetz, she quits. Meanwhile, despite Malcolm's advice, Leonard gets tongue tied while asking a beautiful customer for a date. In Nicolette's absence, the Fifty-Fifty Club is woefully understaffed. Despite Eddie's protests, Malcolm won't apologize, insisting that it be up to Nicolette to ask for her job back. However, when he has to face Mick's harsh criticism, Malcolm suddenly revises his policy about the customer always being right and throws the unruly Steinmetz out. Meanwhile, Leonard's unsuccessful efforts to woo Shannon with a poetry reading catch the attention of another female customer. Swallowing his pride, Malcolm goes to Nicolette's to make amends. Although he can't bring himself to accept responsibility for her leaving, he does place a call to the psychic hot line Nicolette is working for to apologize. And already tired of her new job, Nicolette agrees to return to work. Finally, Malcolm uses Leonard and Allison's attraction for one another to clear out the club at closing time.
7.4 /10
Father of the Bribe
When she arrives at the bar for the first time, Malcolm is smitten with Ashley's beauty and charm -- until he discovers she's the daughter of his landlord, T.R. Hawkins. Despite the potential for problems, Ashley invites Malcolm to join her at a cocktail party -- an idea that T.R. immediately tries to squelch. However, when Ashley refuses to rescind the invitation, Hawkins warns Malcolm to behave himself when he's out with his daughter. Falling in love with Ashley does wonders for Malcolm's disposition. And though Malcolm could not be happier, his landlord isn't. In an effort to stem the romance, Hawkins offers the tight-fisted Malcolm a very generous lease renewal on the condition that he never sees Ashley again. And to insure that Malcolm knows he's serious, Hawkins threatens to throw him out if he doesn't accept. While Nicolette encourages Malcolm to follow his heart and not let Hawkins dictate such harsh terms, Leonard recommends accepting the new lease and finding another girlfriend. Hoping to distract his daughter away from Malcolm, Hawkins gives her an expensive new car as a present for passing the bar exam. But when Ashley invites him out for a ride, Malcolm must reveal that her dad is coercing him. Ignoring the potential financial fallout, he agrees to join Ashley in defiance of her father. Finally, after Ashley offers to represent Malcolm in court, Hawkins has no choice but to back down.
7.8 /10
Paint Misbehavin'
When pressed by Nicolette, landlord T.R. Hawkins reluctantly agrees to have her apartment painted. Once Leonard and Doug sign on for the job, Nicolette must move out until they are done. And though they didn't plan on it, Malcolm and Eddie suddenly find themselves agreeing to be Nicolette's hosts and to helping her move. Once Nicolette has settled in, she quickly begins taking over Malcolm and Eddie's apartment. Although they suddenly find their place too messy, too hot and with too little food, the guys have little recourse but to grin and bear it. But after Nicolette's unexpected return interrupts his date with Ashley, Malcolm finally has had enough. And after Eddie cannot get some time alone in the bathroom, both he and Malcolm realize that they must do something fast. Tracking her down in the nearly repainted apartment, Malcolm and Eddie try telling Nicolette just how hard she is to live with. But when she counters with a complaint about them, Leonard steps in to settle the dispute. Once Nicolette admits to taking advantage of their hospitality, she prepares to move back home as Eddie helps finish the last bit of painting. But when Eddie's accident with the paint sprayer ruins all of Leonard and Doug's hard work, Nicolette must stay with her neighbors just a little longer.
0 /10
Insemination Without Representation
At her surprise 30th birthday party, Nicolette reacts badly and bolts from the club. Coming back later to apologize, she confesses to feeling unfulfilled by turning 30 childless. To make sure another unsatisfying birthday doesn't come and go, Nicolette announces that she's going to be artificially inseminated. And for moral support, she asks Malcolm to join her at the sperm bank. After a humorless interview with her insemination counselor, Nicolette has second thoughts about using an anonymous donor. As a result, she asks Malcolm to be the father of her child, and to do it without using artificial insemination. And while he's flattered to be asked, Malcolm wants to think about it first. Once he's had a chance to mull it over, Malcolm agrees to help Nicolette out. During their first attempt at conception, both parties are nervous. However, once they have a chance to discuss the details, they find that there's little they agree upon when it comes to raising a child. As a result, Malcolm and Nicolette both agree to wait.
0 /10
The Mad Hatter

Mon, Feb 15, 1999
As a favor, Malcolm agrees to take some of Eddie's prized hat collection to be cleaned. However, while Malcolm and Leonard are making a quick stop at a convenience store, a thief steals Eddie's hats. After learning that his partner neglected to lock the car, Eddie demands that Malcolm include $1,000 for his hats on an insurance claim. But after finding that Malcolm isn't covered for theft, Eddie decides to sue. When the case is accepted for TV's "Citizen's Court," Malcolm and Eddie arrive to present their respective arguments before Judge Joseph Wapner. When called to the stand, Eddie accuses Malcolm of negligence. In his own defense, Malcolm claims that the theft was an act of God. And though Malcolm calls him as a witness, Leonard cannot help but try to please both of his bosses. So, after hearing the case, Judge Wapner dismisses Leonard as an unreliable witness before retiring to make his decision. Back in the courtroom, Judge Wapner makes it clear that Malcolm acted negligently by leaving the car unlocked. However, after getting a look at pictures provided by Eddie, he declares the hats are worth only $40. And after ordering Malcolm to pay, the judge reprimands both parties for letting the case threaten their friendship. Following the TV trial, Malcolm offers to pay Eddie the $1,000 he wanted. And once Malcolm gives him the check, Eddie promptly tears it up in order to restore their friendship. Finally, in response to a reward offered by Malcolm, Eddie gets his hats back for a mere $5.
0 /10
Devil's Advocate
While watching "The Jerry Stein Show" on television, Malcolm and Eddie learn of the all expense paid trip to the Super Bowl being offered to whoever can convince his audience that they are the world's biggest football fans. Certain that their devotion to the Kansas City Chiefs will guarantee a win, Eddie asks Malcolm to try out. And while Malcolm worries about being humiliated by Stein's tough audience, the value of the tickets persuades him to go along with the plan. Through a cousin who works on Stein's show, Leonard gets Malcolm and Eddie a chance to appear and vie for the Super Bowl tickets. But when his cousin sees them take the stage, he tells Leonard that they've shown up at the wrong time. As a result, instead of being interviewed as football fanatics, Malcolm and Eddie are mistakenly identified as devil worshippers. After they are introduced to the unruly and hostile audience, Malcolm and Eddie's lifelong obsession with the Chiefs is misconstrued as a fanatic devotion to Satan. In an effort to remedy the misunderstanding, they take on the show's other guests, much to the delight of Stein and the crowd. And because their brawl with the Satan worshippers was such a hit, Stein encourages them to stay for the show they originally came for.
0 /10
Badfellas

Mon, Mar 01, 1999
On instructions from his boss, Mr. O, Spencer Campbell offers Malcolm and Eddie protection from anything untoward happening to the Fifty-Fifty Club. Realizing that it's a shakedown, the two partners beef up their own security after sending Spencer away. Bringing along another business owner who suffered losses from an unexplained fire after refusing a similar deal, Mr. O gives the boys a chance to reconsider. But, after turning down him down again, Malcolm and Eddie are forced to conduct their own round-the-clock surveillance of the club. In need of some sleep, Malcolm and Eddie let Leonard and Doug watch the club for one night. Yet, the following morning, they find that Mr. O's goons trashed the place after tying up Leonard and Doug. With their business a shambles, Malcolm and Eddie turn to the Kansas City Police Department for help. And even though everyone knows that Mr. O and his gang are responsible, the detectives assigned to the case can do nothing without proof. So, to see that justice is done, Eddie and Malcolm go undercover to catch Mr. O red-handed. At the barbershop that serves as Mr. O's headquarters, Malcolm and Eddie arrive disguised as a pair of police detectives. In an effort to get even, they try to shake him down for a piece of his racket. But after the mobster exposes their ruse, he sets out to make an example of the boys. However, before Mr. O can do any damage, the detective who has the operation under surveillance bursts in. And while Mr. O is certain that they have nothing on him, Malcolm proves otherwise with a confession he secretly recorded.
0 /10
The Fool Monty

Mon, Apr 26, 1999
In an effort to improve the Fifty-Fifty Club's finances, Nicolette suggests a Ladies Night complete with some handsome male strippers. Although both Malcolm and Eddie worry about what strippers might do to the club's image, after learning how profitable it is, they readily agree. Meanwhile, Leonard persuades Malcolm and Eddie to promote him to Food and Beverage Director. While Leonard negotiates a deal for some cut-rate clams, Nicolette and Laura hire four handsome young men to perform at the club. Once the crowd arrives, it's clear that they are ready for action. However, when Leonard's clams turn out to be bad and all four dancers come down with a bad case of food poisoning, Malcolm and his partner are left without any entertainment to calm the raucous crowd. With a club full of unruly women who expect to be entertained, Malcolm and Eddie must act fast. When Nicolette threatens to do something drastic if they cancel, Leonard and Doug take the stage. And following their success, it's up to Malcolm and Eddie to take their clothes off for the wild crowd, too. Finally, despite his mistake with the clams, Leonard is given another chance to prove himself, this time under Nicolette's watchful eye.
0 /10
Daddio

Mon, May 03, 1999
With plans to expand their business, Malcolm and Eddie go to see Troy Jensen, a contractor who's bid on the construction of a new Fifty-Fifty Club in Chicago. With his wife called into work at the hospital where she's a nurse, Troy is left to care for their three children -- seven-year-old Rome, ten-year-old Cairo and twelve-year-old Geneva. And while Troy's brothers warn against doing business with them, Malcolm and Eddie watch Rome get his head stuck in the staircase banister posts while pretending to be a superhero, as Geneva arrives home with a disastrous haircut courtesy of a friend. After ordering Cairo to walk their family dog, Bill goes to comfort the distraught Geneva. As Troy convinces his daughter to embrace her new look regardless of how hideous it may seem, Malcolm and Eddie help Rome extricate himself from the staircase. Meanwhile, after giving the dog away to some loving neighbors, Cairo has a change of heart when his dad suggests that the family might be better off if he were in military school. While happy with the work Troy has proposed, Malcolm and Eddie try to get him to cut the price. But Troy refuses to budge and even persuades them that he's worth the extra expense. Finally, after leaving the Jensen family in Chicago, Malcolm and Eddie return to Kansas City where they left their club in the hands of a loyal, though not always capable, staff.
0 /10
As You Strike It
With things going well at the club, the staff asks to share in the good fortune and Eddie agrees to approach Malcolm on their behalf. While Malcolm agrees to a small raise, he refuses any health benefits, paid vacations or profit sharing. As a result, Nicolette leads the employees out on strike. When left to run the club on their own, it doesn't take long for Malcolm and Eddie to realize that, without an end to the strike, they'll need to hire a new staff. In an effort to help out, Eddie's visually challenged cousin applies for a job. But it's only after he's hired that Malcolm learns about Dexter's recent stay in a mental institution. After an accident breaks the eyeglasses he needs to look normal, Dexter's patience is tested by a customer's cruel taunts. Although Malcolm tries to keep things under control, a fight quickly erupts. And after the strikers wade into the middle of the brawl to help out, Malcolm offers their jobs back after Nicolette negotiates an acceptable raise.
0 /10
The Sweet Hell of Success
After the club makes $50,000 in just three months, Malcolm quickly invests his share of the profits in the stock market. Eddie, on the other hand, takes his earning to the racetrack. While Malcolm accuses his partner of being irresponsible, Eddie counters by saying that he's cheap. As a result, Malcolm calls on his financial advisor to set Eddie straight. But instead of taking Olive's advice, Eddie buys a racehorse. As Eddie settles in to watch his horse win $100,000 in its first race, a stock market nosedive costs Malcolm plenty. As the horse continues winning, Eddie becomes richer by the race, allowing him to get all the things Malcolm is too cheap to buy. But, after seeing Eddie's new entourage of hangers-on, Malcolm is worried about his partner wasting all of his money. To talk some sense into Eddie, Malcolm asks actor Emmanuel Lewis to give him a lecture on fiscal responsibility. Noting how newfound wealth once attracted a host of new friends eager to cash in for themselves, Emmanuel warns Eddie about being too free with his cash. And though Eddie is grateful for Malcolm's concern, they finally agree not to try and tell each other what to do.
0 /10
B.S. I Love You
After preparing a romantic dinner for two, Malcolm is disappointed when an urgent business meeting takes Ashley out of town at the last minute. Although he remains committed to Ashley, Malcolm cannot resist when Olivia, a singer in the club's new band, expresses an interest in him. However, after overhearing Olivia talking with a friend, Eddie discovers that she's being paid by T.R. Hawkins to come between his daughter, Ashley, and Malcolm. Meanwhile, Eddie's latest admirer is their voyeuristic neighbor, Tonya. On the news that he bought Olivia a new car in exchange for her cooperation, Eddie confronts Hawkins. And even though Hawkins tries to bribe him into cooperating, too, Eddie refuses and tells Malcolm the truth. But when Malcolm asks her about the plan, Olivia admits to having some feelings for him and begs for another chance. Upon returning from her business trip, Ashley insists that her father bring her straight to the club to see Malcolm. Seizing the moment, Malcolm takes the stage to recite a poem in which he proposes marriage. Though Ashley defies her father and agrees to marry Malcolm, she's upset after seeing Olivia give him a kiss. As a result, Malcolm must choose between two women who both say they are in love with him. Finally Eddie is stunned when he gets a look at Peeping Tonya.
0 /10

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