In Little Botham, policemen Cannon and Ball stage fake crimes to avoid station closure. They accidentally encounter real art thieves, leading to a chaotic confrontation involving the stolen artworks.

Sgt. Cannon (Tommy Cannon) and PC Ball (Bobby Ball) run the police station in the quiet town of Little Botham. When the station's threatened to be shut down, due to a lack of crime, they decide to invent some crimes to justify their existence. When they try to steal a painting from a local rich businessman (Roy Kinnear), they accidently stumble across a gang of real art thieves who have just stolen £1 million worth of paintings. It is up to the two bungling cops to stop them escaping with their haul.—measham