John Bennett, a man whose childhood wish of bringing his teddy bear to life came true, now must decide between keeping the relationship with the bear, Ted or his girlfriend, Lori.
John makes a Christmas miracle happen by bringing his one and only friend to life, his teddy bear. The two grow up together and John must then choose to stay with his girlfriend or keep his friendship with his crude and extremely inappropriate teddy bear, Ted.—Anonymous
A man who, as a boy, dreamy good stuff teddy bear was real has his wish come true.. only it's happened 30 years too late, for the now grown John Bennett is in a quandary between choosing either the relationship with his girlfriend or his relationship with the bear.—Huggo
In Boston, the eight-year old lonely boy John Bennett has no friends. On the Christmas day, he wishes that his Ted bear comes to life and a miracle happens and Ted becomes his only friend. Twenty-seven years later, John Bennett is a pothead that works at a car rental and spends his idle time smoking pot and watching movies with Ted. He also has a girlfriend for four years, Lori Collins, who has a great job. Lori's boss Rex tries unsuccessfully to get into her pants. One day, John meets the weird Donny that worships Ted and wants to buy him for his son Robert but John refuses the offer. When Lori puts John against the wall to stay with her, John has to make a tough decision.—Claudio Carvalho, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
A man wrestles with the lingering consequences of a childhood wish in this live-action comedy from Family Guy (1999) creator Seth MacFarlane. As a young boy, John Bennett wanted nothing more than for his beloved teddy bear Ted (voice of MacFarlane) to come to life. Incredibly, that wish was granted. But now that John (Mark Wahlberg) is all grown up, his boyhood dream has become a nightmare nuisance.
John Bennett, (Brett Manley) an 8-year-old boy who lives in Boston, is friendless as nobody will play with him. On the Christmas morning of 1985 John gets a teddy bear from his parents as a Christmas present and names him "Teddy" (Zane Cowans). That night John wishes Ted was alive so he can have a friend and his wish is granted by a falling star. The next morning, Ted comes to life with the mind of a human such as being able to walk and speak. At first both John and his parents are scared, but soon become overjoyed. Soon after, Ted becomes famous world-wide, but his fame is short-lived.
Twenty-seven years later, in 2012, John (Mark Wahlberg) and Ted (Seth MacFarlane) are still best friends and live together in an apartment in Boston doing drugs and boozing while watching TV. John's other roommate and girlfriend of 4 years, Lori Collins (Mila Kunis) becomes annoyed that John is spending time with Ted and that he is acting like a child. After their dinner date one night, John and Lori discover Ted had invited hookers for a party with one of them defecating on the carpet. John soon helps Ted get an interview at a local supermarket where he gets a job as a shop assistant. Ted flirts and befriends Tami-Lynn, another new employee. The pair are caught having sexual intercourse during their shift, but this only causes Ted to get promoted and not lose his job much to Ted's annoyance. After a dinner-date which includes Ted and Tami-Lynn goes wrong, Lori admits to John that she knows he is still hanging out with Ted, even making excuses to leave work as a car rental assistant early. John promises to stop being with Ted. John makes Ted move out of his apartment into a new place.
A few nights later at a house party hosted by Lori's stalking boss Rex (Joel McHale) who has a crush on her, John gets a call from Ted that Flash Gordon star Sam Jones is in his new apartment. John, after some encouragement, disobeys Lori and goes to see Sam Jones at Ted's apartment. At Ted's party Sam Jones befriends the duo, and they have the time of their lives getting stoned, drunk and Ted singing karaoke. Lori though discovers John had betrayed her and tearfully dumps him. John blames Ted for what happened and asks him to get out of his life. A week later, Rex asks Lori out on a date, and she accepts, hoping to temporarily distract herself from heartache and finally get Rex to leave her alone.
Ted finds out and visits the hotel room where John is staying to tell him about it. John accuses Ted of lying and says he wishes he had never asked for a teddy bear as a kid that Christmas. John and Ted get in a dramatic fist fight, which ends with them making up and deciding to crash the Norah Jones concert at the Hatch Shell where Rex took Lori.
It turns out Ted is personal friends with Norah, so she agrees to let John sing a song onstage dedicated to Lori, which turns out to be Octopussy theme, All Time High, by Rita Coolidge, in which he sings off-key. John is fiercely booed off the stage by the angry spectators, but Lori is touched by the gesture and ends her date with Rex prematurely. The next day, Ted shows up at Lori's apartment and tells her that John is lost without her and offers to leave forever if it would help them be together and he tells her what happened that night at Rex's. Lori then leaves to meet with John, before Ted is kidnapped by a creepy man named Donny (Giovanni Ribisi) and his obnoxious, overweight son, Robert, who had offered to buy Ted from John in an earlier scene.
At their home, Ted discovers pictures of himself all over the wall, and Donny explains that when he was a little boy, he saw Ted on TV and asked his father if he could have a magical teddy bear like Ted. His father said no, and Donny vowed that he would never say no like that to his own future son.
During Robert's playtime, Ted tricks the boy into playing a game of hide and seek, using the distraction to call John, who is now talking with Lori about their future together, but Donny catches Ted using the phone. Donny and Robert try to flee the house with Ted before being chased by John and Lori who shows up just in time to catch them in a car chase that leads them to Fenway Park. Ted manages to outrun Donny to the Green Monster, while John punches Robert in the face, knocking him unconscious. As they climb up one of the wall's light towers, Donny grabs Ted by the foot and accidentally tears Ted in half, causing him to fall limp to the field below. Donny runs away as the police show up, and John and Lori run on the field beside Ted.
With his last breath, Ted tells John not to lose Lori again because she is the most important part of his life. The magical glimmer vanishes from Ted's complexion, and the life fades from his eyes. Unwilling to lose him, John and Lori rush back to Lori's apartment to try to stitch Ted back together; though they manage to do so, they are unable to bring him back to life, so they have no choice but to accept that he is gone. That night as John is asleep, Lori sees a shooting star and closes her eyes, appearing to make a wish. The next morning John wakes up and discovers that Ted has come back to life, without any visible trace of the injuries he had suffered the previous night. Lori admits that it was her wish that was responsible for saving Ted, and John finally proposes to her. John and Lori are then married and at their wedding, Sam Jones, who is apparently an ordained minister, presides over the service, and Ted is the best man at the wedding. After the wedding, Ted and Sam then end the day by doing the "Flash Jump".
The narrator (Patrick Stewart) reveals what happens to the characters after John and Lori are married:Ted continues his relationship with Tami-Lynn and gets promoted to store manager when he's caught eating potato salad off of her bare bottom.Sam Jones moves back to Hollywood to restart his film career and shares a studio apartment in Burbank, California with Brandon Routh, from "that god-awful Superman movie".Rex is forced to give up his pursuit of Lori, falls into a deep depression, and dies of Lou Gehrig's disease, which, ironically, had been wished on him by John.Donny is arrested by Boston police and charged with "kidnapping a plush toy," but the charges are dropped when everyone realizes how completely stupid that sounds.Robert gets a personal trainer, loses weight, and goes on to become Taylor Lautner.
