Summaries

Synopsis

John Winger is a taxi driver working in Louisville, Kentucky. In one day he tangles with a fare that won't pay him and an annoying, highly-demanding woman who has several very heavy suitcases and wants to be driven to the airport. When she tells Winger that he's a terrible cabbie, he abandons her and the cab on the George Rogers Clark Bridge. Returning to his apartment, he sees his Mustang being repossessed and finds out his girlfriend is leaving him because he lacks motivation. He also ends up dropping and ruining the pizza he'd brought home.

Winger's friend, Russell Zimsky, is bored with his job teaching English to immigrants. After teaching his class how to sing "Da-Do-Run-Run", he goes to Winger's apartment. Winger tells him that Anita left him and that he's thinking about joining the Army to take a new direction in life. Russell tells him he's crazy & challenges Winger to do five full pushups. Winger does but is exhausted. The two drive to an Army recruitment office together and sign up.

A few days later they arrive at their training base and meet their drill instructor, Sgt Hulka. When he first addresses Winger, Russell and all the other recruits, Winger cracks a joke that he thinks Hulka didn't hear. Hulka makes an example of Winger by having him do 50 pushups outside the hall. The guys later have their heads shaved and are given their clothing and taken to their barracks. Each man introduces himself and tells the platoon why they chose to join the Army. One recruit, Dewey "Ox" Oxberger, says he wants to lose weight and gain the respect of his fellow trainees and women in general. Winger is the last to speak and tries to kiss up to Hulka as their leader. Hulka isn't impressed and orders everyone to sleep.

The next morning the platoon is rousted out of bed at 5am. When Winger suggests they be allowed to get more sleep, Hulka changes their agenda from a 5-mile run to a 10-mile run. Winger suddenly finds himself out of favor with his comrades. In their first march out together, Winger and Russell rally everyone by getting them to sing "Do Wah Diddy" as a cadence.

Hulka continues to ride Winger until one night when Hulka addresses everyone in the barracks, saying that he knows a few of the men have been slipping off the base at night without permission. Winger makes like he'll step forward with Russell but tricks his friend, who is punished with 24 hours of garbage duty. The rest of the platoon is ordered to spend two weekends on KP. When he asks Winger what he thinks of their punishment, Winger says it sucks. Hulka orders Winger to a private conference in the latrine. Winger tells his sergeant that he can either kick him out of the Army or just get off his back. The sergeant invites Winger to take a swing at him; when Winger does, Hulka easily ducks & hits Winger in the stomach, doubling him over. He tells Winger that he plans to make him a soldier who respects discipline and that their private meeting will someday mean something to him. Winger later tries to sneak off the base and is found by Russell, who tells him he's going to finish basic because Winger talked him into it. As they wrestle on the ground, they're found by two beautiful female MPs, Stella and Louise, who take them back to their barracks without reporting them.

The recruits continue their training and prove to be total screw-ups. One of the base's captains, Stillman, is charged by his commanding Colonel, Glass, with finding a platoon of new recruits to be sent to Italy on a publicity campaign: they'll participate in the unveiling and testing of a new urban assault vehicle, the EM-50, a Winnebago mobile home outfitted with the state-of-the-art in surveillance and communication technology and weaponry. Stillman takes the assignment and goes out looking for the right platoon.

On part of the obstacle course, Hulka has his men climbing a rope to the top of a small tower. When Crusier can't make it, Winger challenges the sergeant to do it himself. Hulka makes it easily and then invites any recruit to come up and knock him off the platform. Not far away, Stillman is observing mortar practice and orders one of the men to fire his round without any coordinates. The shell flies toward Hulka and blasts out the tower, spilling him to the ground. With Hulka on the injury list indefinitely, Winger's platoon is left leaderless. That night they go into town and end up at a strip joint featuring mud wrestling. Winger encourages Ox to take on two of the women at once for a bet of $400. Ox is thrown around the ring by his opponents but gains an advantage in the 2nd round when he pulls off their bikini tops. The place is suddenly raided by the police and everyone but Winger & Russell are dragged off by the cops. Winger & Russell are met by Stella and Louise, who take them back to the base. Before they return the men to their barracks, they have to inspect the house belonging to the base commander, General Barnicke. Winger and Russell join them over the women's objections but they all spend the night having sex. Meanwhile, Stillman reprimands Ox & several others for being arrested. He also tells them that he'll report them to Barnicke and that they'll all have to repeat basic training, despite the fact that they're due to graduate the next day.

Winger and Russell arrive back at the barracks and find their disheartened comrades. Russell claims he can get them all ready for graduation in the few hours they have left. At the motorpool, Russell tries to lead everyone in rifle drills but they all begin fighting. Winger steps in and yells for them all to stop and then restores their confidence by relating their plight of being wretched Americans to mutts like Old Yeller. The platoon is rallied and spend the rest of the night practicing a routine made up by Winger.

At graduation the next day, most of Hulka's platoon is missing during the first part of the ceremony. Just then, Winger and his men doubletime onto the parade ground, singing a rhythmic cadence and then coming to attention. General Barnicke asks where they've been and Winger and the platoon enthusiastically shout that they completed their training without Hulka and launch into a coordinated rifle drill that impresses Barnicke enough that he assigns them to the EM-50 project.

When the platoon arrives in Italy, they're met immediately by a recovered Hulka. They're shown the EM-50 and are told they'll guard it at night. Winger and Russell take the first watch and are bored stiff but are encouraged when Winger suggests they take the EM-50 out for a spin -- Winger wants to drive up to Germany to meet up with Stella and Louise. When Stillman arrives at the hangar with a date, he finds the EM gone and gathers a small detachment of Winger's platoon to find it. As they travel toward Germany in the rain, Stillman orders them down the wrong road and they end up driving straight through a Czechoslovakian border checkpoint. They're met a few miles down the road by a Czech patrol and surrender immediately. Moments before they're caught, Hulka, who's advice Stillman repeatedly refused, jumps out of the back of truck and hides in the woods. He later radios a distress call that's picked up by Winger, Russell, Louise and Stella in the EM-50 in Germany. The code they receive from Hulka indicates the team is on an unsanctioned mission & that the US State Department won't even acknowledge their capture. Winger realizes their platoon came looking for them and it's their fault they've been captured. They decide to go after them.

At a Soviet-operated base just inside the Czech border, Hulka observes from the nearby woods while two of the platoon are beaten up by Soviet officers. Back at the Czech border crossing, Stella and Louise create a distraction while Winger takes the two guards prisoner and ties them up. They use one of the guard's uniforms and their truck to gain entry to the Soviet base. Though Winger doesn't have much of a plan for invading the base and finding their buddies, Russell begins activating the weapons systems of the EM-50 - shield cover the windows, guns emerge and they take off, looking for the truck their comrades arrived in. After a few minutes of searching, they find the truck near the building where their buddies are being held. Winger and Stella sneak into the building and find Cruiser sitting in a chair outside the locked chamber. When Stella uses an explosive to blast the door open, it doesn't budge. Inside, Stillman begins to panic, blaming the platoon for the mess they're in. Ox becomes enraged and charges Stillman, missing him and smashing the door down.

Outside, Russell uses more of the EM-50's defenses to fight off Czech troops. They're forced to retreat temporarily before Winger and Stella and the guys emerge. When Winger and the guys see a tank coming they retreat, finding themselves trapped by more Czech soldiers. Suddenly the EM-50 reappears and blasts the tank, disabling it. Everyone piles into the EM-50 and they take off. During their escape, Hulka is able to jump onto the roof. They also blast back through the border checkpoint and arrive safely back in Germany.

Back in the States, Russell, Winger, Stella and Louise all arrive to a hero's welcome. They're ultimate fates are revealed in fictional covers of various magazines. Winger himself appears on the cover of Soldier of Fortune, Ox appears on the cover of teen magazine Tiger Beat. Hulka's retirement is shown on another cover. When Winger sees Hulka waiting on the tarmac, Hulka makes like he's going to shake Winger's hand but salutes instead. Humored, Winger salutes him back. Ox marches the rest of the unit out to "Do Wah Diddy."