A spoof on many horror movie series. Ending his shift at the video rental store, Stan is picked up by his BFF and 2 cute girls, all going to a Halloween party. Will they even get there?
It's Halloween night, and slacker video clerk Stan Helsing along with his insanely sexy ex-girlfriend , best buddy and an exotic dancer/'massage therapist' - detours into a town cursed by the biggest monsters in movie history: Freddy, Jason , Pinhead , Leatherface , Chucky , & Michael Myers.—Anonymous
Stan Helsing (Steve Howey) is an underachieving employee at a video rental store named Schlockbuster whose personal motto is "Don't get involved". His teen-aged boss Sully (Chad Krowchuk) orders him to drop off a bag of movies to the mother of the store's owner or risk not having a job Monday morning. It is the Halloween weekend and Stan was supposed to be off in 10 minutes when Sully gave him the assignment. This was just after Sully asked Stan to kill a giant cockroach in the lady's bathroom.
Despite his arguments, he agrees to the request and manages to get his friend Teddy (Kenan Thompson), his ex-girlfriend Nadine (Diora Baird) and ditsy blond massage therapist Mia (Desi Lydic) (who used to be an exotic dancer) to take him there before they attend a Halloween party, even though it's on the other side of town. Stan says that unless the videos are delivered, he will lose his job, and then not be able to pay the money he owes to Teddy and Nadia.
Unknown to the group, monsters are searching for Stan. But due to Halloween, they look like regular town people.
Enroute, the group encounters a traffic jam, and, to Stan's surprise, he spots Chucky, the living doll (Jeff Gulka), who makes obscene gestures that no one else notices in the van of a MILF next to them. Because of this disturbance, they miss their exit and decide to take a shortcut. After a close encounter with a 18 wheeler, Stan lights up a joint that everybody shares.Inevitably, they hit a dog named Sammy Boy and inadvertently asked the dog's owner for help who then threatens to kill them for murdering his beloved dog.
After fleeing the scene, Teddy picks up a hitchhiker (Travis MacDonald), but after learning he was convicted of murdering nurses (what he terms as a tease and squeeze), they violently throw him from the moving vehicle.They come across a gas station where the perverted owners tell Stan that he may be related to the legendary Abraham Van Helsing, the monster hunter. Stan finds that someone was tugging at himself while spying on him through the bathroom wall, taking a leak. They leave after paying the owners $40 for the gas.They depart and after finding Stormy Night Estates (the gated community where the group had to deliver the videos), they discover the attendants never put gas into the car. They come across a local bar (the owner of dog was already there with his dead dog) and meet the ire of the townsfolk in a bad attempt of Karaoke while singing Johnny Cash's song Ring of Fire. They are warned not to be in town after midnight.
After they leave, they discover that all the citizens of Stormy Night Estates, including their waitress, Kay (Leslie Nielsen), were actually dead due to a massive fire that consumed the town ten years earlier. Ever since the fire, the town is cursed and has been attacked by monsters. Legend has it that a Van Helsing will arrive in town and save them from this curse.At stroke of Midnight, the lights of the town go out and the monsters start roaming the streets. The group cannot exit the community as the gates are electrified and would not open. They encounter several monsters including Pinhead, the hockey-masked killer Jason Voorhees (Ken Kirzinger), Chucky, Freddy Krueger (Ben Cotton), Leatherface (Twan Holliday), and a Hebrew Michael Myers (Lee Tichon).The group goes down a metal tube to find an underground lair where they are attacked by monsters. The group escapes the lair and enters a church.
They are given weapons by an extroverted altar boy (Jeremy Crittenden) who is so very close to becoming a priest who informs Stan of his destiny and that he is Van Helsing's descendant, arming them with various weapons before kicking them out of his church.The group is chased all over town by the monsters. They find a safe room inside a house and figure out that their nightmare will not be over till they kill the monsters. On TV news they find that the hitchhiker went on a killing spree after they dumped him, and the gas station owners were selling pornography after filming people in the bathroom. Sammy Boy was a local hero.
The group exits the house and is confronted by the entire posse of monsters.The townsfolk offer a competition in which Stan and his friends compete against the monsters in Karaoke. The humans are unanimously voted as the winners, but the monsters refuse to leave town.Disobeying his policy of never getting involved, Stan turns each of the monsters' weaknesses against them, soundly defeating them and feeding them to Sammy Boy who had been brought back to vicious life (as in the Pet Semetery) by its owner.
The group calls a cab, and they leave the town as heroes. During the trip home, Nadine discovers how much she cares for Stan and kisses him. Teddy suggests kissing Mia, but she rebuffs with a lap dance offer instead which he gladly accepts. The movie ends with the taxicab driving away and the sound of moaning.
