A young vampire cannot lose his virginity because of a curse imposed upon him centuries ago.

Rockula is about a male vampire who lost his lady love centuries ago. She was killed by a pirate with a rhinestone peg leg, wielding a large ham bone. Our hero, the vampire, did nothing to save her. So he is now cursed to watch her be born again in another life, and then watch her die, strangely enough by a pirate with a rhinestone peg leg, wielding you-know-what. Now, in 1990, he has, he suspects, his last chance to try to save her instead of watching get clubbed over and over again down through the years. Oh, and he becomes a rock star in the process.—Shannon Quesnel <[email protected]>