Stupid football player is kidnapped by gangsters. Lunatics abound: former footballer now dancer, professor interested in magic, gangster who makes horse noises when excited.

Boley Bolenciecwcz, he of the un-pronounceable and un-spellable name, is a phenomenal football player and will surely save the day and win the Big Game for Old Siwash...if he can stay awake and pass his exams. But he is kidnapped by a gambling cartel, just in case, since they have heavy sugar on the other team. In and around these happenings float many eccentric characters, including Grandpa, who is old enough to still be fighting the Civil War but not too old to chase blondes; "Seabiscuit," the man who neighs like a horse---don't ask; Professor Murray, who mixes magic with his economics teaching, and goes around extracting eggs from other people's ears.—Les Adams <[email protected]>