Two two-bit crooks get in the way of a criminal ring and cause a hold up to fail. The two flee to Paradise avoiding a reprisal and try and steal Saint Peter's halo.
Franco and Ciccio Introlia (Franco Franchi and Ciccio Ingrassia) are two ham-fist-ed swindlers who are sick of the criminal life and want to go straight. To this end, they sign on at the labor exchange and get themselves hired as servants for 'The Baron' (Riccardo Garrone), a wealthy diplomat who needs extra staff for a lavish reception. However, the two dim-witted crooks soon realize that the Baron is not a genuine diplomat, but in fact a master criminal whom they once met in prison. The reception is simply window-dressing designated to con money from a rich industrialist. Also in on the scam is Floriana (Margaret Lee), the Baron's lover. In the course of the evening, the half-brained duo make a complete mess of the Baron's plan, landing him in prison, and worse still, leaving him massively out of pocket.
The Baron's wife Dora (Linda Sini) and his hulking enforcer "Mancino" (Poldo Bendandi) threaten the hapless duo with death unless they repay the money lost. To this end, Franco and Ciccio stage a series of robberies and confidence tricks in a desperate attempt to steal their way out of trouble, but their efforts lead to more disaster.
Posting as brothers of a Holy Order, Franco and Ciccio try to extort a legacy from the wife (Luciana Angiollio) and relatives of a recently deceased businessman. When this fails, they attempt an art robbery from a local museum, disguising themselves in suits of armor on display. Before they can put the plan in operation, delivery men arrive to move the suits of armor to another location and the unlucky thieves are forced to jump out of a moving truck and land in the streets of Rome, still in their armor. Undeterred, they try to stage a mock car crash to claim insurance money, Still, that does not work.
Posting a cops, Franco and Ciccio break into a gambling den, only for the real cops to show up too. This last screw-up has the lucky side effect of landing Floriana, Dora and Mancino in a jail as they were at the gaming tables when the police arrived.
Penniless and ready to return to their home in Sicily, the two dumbbells decide to attempt an old favorite before leaving Italy; they pose as policemen on busy road junction and demand gifts from passing goodies supplies for "La Befana" (a mythical benevolent witch with magical powers who brings presents to the children of Italy on the eve of Epiphany). Unfortunately, a superior officer arrives and takes away their ill-gotten gains to distribute among the city's poor children.
Finally, Franco and Ciccio pose as General Tornabuoni and General Franken at the Ministry of War and attempt to scam a rich man who wishes to buy his son's way out of being drafted into the National Service. However, Franco gets carried away in his role as "General Franken" and with insane patriot fervor, persuades the ex-military man to force his son to sign up. The scheme is ruined, but Ciccio notices a safe in the office and sets about opening it. While working he asks Franco to get him something to eat from a nearby bar. Franco sees a telephone with the letters B.A.R. on it and uses it to place a food order. The phone is is fact a hot-line to the Bombardamento Aereo Rappresaglia (Air Bombardment Retaliation) and Franco inadvertently orders them to detonate a hydrogen bomb on the Ministry of Defense. The nuclear weapon detonates, and destroys all of Rome.
In the final scene, the two idiots end up in Heaven having rigged a pair of winds to fool St. Peter. Even now, Franco and Ciccio find the urge to steal proves overwhelming....
