A descendant of the famous vampire gets a job as a photographer shooting beautiful fashion models at the family estate. Being around so much naked and semi-naked flesh has the expected effect on him.
Castle van Skrew has seen better days, which is why Stanley [Gianni Garko] hasreturned to the old Bavarian homestead, hoping to save it from ruin.Accompanied by his girlfriend Linda [Linda Grondier], his younger brother Chubby (Leopoldin the German version) [Tobias Meister], and his working staff of models, Stan has openedthe Drop-In Disco and a photography business, Dirty Dozen Pictures, in thecastle. Little does Stan know that, while he is dancing in his disco andshooting soft core porn photos of tortured women in the dungeon, beneaththem lies his great grandparents, Count Stanislaus Dracula [also Gianni Garko] and CountessOlivia [Betty Verges]. Stanislaus Dracula and Olivia made a pact years ago to never leave theircrypt, and they have been tended to since then by their faithful renfieldBoris [Ralf Wolter], whose duty it is to steal blood from the local bloodbank so thatDracula and Olivia can feed. Lately though, their blood supply has beenrunning short thanks to the village's prim schoolteacher, Ellen Nutcracker [Ellen Umlauf]. Ellen,who has been proclaiming for years that the castle is inhabited by ghostsand vampires, saw Boris stealing the blood. She and the school janitor,Daniel McCleary [Dan van Husen], followed Boris back to the castle, where they peeked inthe window and saw the naked women. When Ellen heard that Stan also openeda "dicko," she is certain that the castle has become a den of iniquity andmakes it her sworn duty to report this corruption to BurgermeisterDumphammer [Alexander Grill] and save the virture of the village youth.
Meanwhile, Dracula has had it. Tonight's blood supply was nothingmore than a "mosquito's reserve" and that infernal racket from the disco"not only could wake up the dead, it HAS." He decides to leave the cryptand see what's going on. While Ellen has a heart-to-heart with Boris overthe stolen blood, and Stan discusses the possibility of opening a hotelwith Italian investor Mario [Giacomo Rizzo], and Mario's hot girlfriend Mousie (Mausi inthe German version) [Bea Fiedler] cools off under the table with Freddie [Herbert Stiny],Stanislaus Dracula puts the bite on Linda. Alsodissatisfied with her meal, Olivia dons a cape and leaves the crypt. Shecomes upon Chubby, but when she bares her fangs, Chubby takes off, fallinginto a pond. When Olivia tries to bite him again, Chubby stuffs a fish inher mouth. Chubby decides to arm himself with garlic, crosses, and stakesand become a vampire hunter.
On a tour of the castle, Ellen notices that a portrait of CountStanislaus has been changed for a portrait of King Casimir the Absurd.When she locates the real portrait, dated 1829-1880, and notices thatStanislaus looks like Stan, she concludes that Stan is Count Stanislausand that he is a vampire. She reveals that she is really Ellen VanHelsing, daughter of the famous vampire killer, and attempts to repel Stanwith a crucifix, but it doesn't work. That night, when Dracula and Oliviawake up, Olivia notices that her husband looks revitalized, while heinforms Olivia that she looks like a "graveyard fishwife." When Draculagoes upstairs to the disco, Olivia finds the ladies' room and cleansherself up. She then seduces Freddie but doesn't drink from him. Instead,she drinks from Chubby.
Meanwhile Stan is away from the castle, negotiating to sell hisphotos to Playboy Magazine. When he phones Mario to relay success, Mariois alarmed because he sees Stanislaus in the disco and assumes he's seeinga ghost. Just before dawn the next morning, Stan returns to the castle tofind Olivia dancing in the courtyard. Thinking that Stan is Stanislaus,Olivia comes on to him and asks to be taken down to the crypt. Thinkingthat Olivia is just some drunk chick, Stan agrees. Stan is astounded tosee Olivia climb into a crypt and slide the heavy top shut, but beforeStan can figure out what's going on and alert anyone, Ellen and Danielknock him in the head with a club. Fortunately, before Ellen can pound astake through Stan's heart, Dracula breezes past on his way to his crypt.Ellen and Daniel skedaddle.
At breakfast, Mrs van Skrew (Frau Grafin in the German version) [Herta Worell]finally spills the family secret about Dracula and Olivia. Mario wants todestroy the vampires as they are bad for business, but Mrs van Skrew won'thear of it. Stan comes up with a solution. With Mario's backing, they canturn the castle into Hotel Dracula, rename the Disco to Disco Dracula, andadvertize the fact that they have real vampires willing and able to biteany guests who want it. It's a good deal for Dracula and Olivia, too,because they can have all the blood they want.
In fact, Hotel Dracula is so successful that it doesn't take long forthe all-night sucking schedule to wear on Dracula and Olivia such thatthey decide to return to Transylvania where they can live out their own"deaths." Not to worry about the hotel, though. Dracula has madearrangements for his successor. From the hotel balcony, Stan and Lindawatch Boris drive off with the Count and Countess. Stan and Linda kiss,and Linda sinks her fangs into Stan's neck. [Original Synopsis by bj_kuehl.]
