Summaries

Synopsis

Khalujaan (Naseeruddin Shah) and his nephew Babban (Arshad Warsi), are a thief duo. Babbab is surrounded by his boss Mushtaq and his gang. Mushtaq wants to bury Babban alive, but Babban says that it was Khalujaan who betrayed Mushtaq and not him. Mushtaq orders Babban to dig his own grave.Babban narrates his story to Mushtaq.

Khalujaan and Babban pose as a Nawab and his attendant and manage to run away with a prized necklace from a jewelry shop. Khalujaan hires a Sherwani for Rs 1000/day to dress Babban like a Nawab. They like a necklace which is for sale for Rs 50 Lakhs, and an advance of Rs 5 Lakhs. Babban pretends to visit the toilet to extract the advance from his underwear, but instead located the main electricity switch of the shop and shuts it off. As the shop plunges into darkness, Khalujaan escapes with the necklace.Unfortunately, they are seen exiting the shop and an alarm is raised.

In the police chase they get separated, while Khalujaan is hurt. Khalujaan also pretends as if he dropped the necklace just before he gets separated from Babban. Babban thinks that Khalujaan has been killed or captured by the police.

Back in the present, Babban Mushtaq that he does not have the necklace. Mushtaq wants to cut off Babban's penis, but Babban grabs the gun of one of his henchmen and manages to escape, with the promise that he will bring back both the necklace and Khaalujaan. Mushtaq tells his men that he never intended to kill Babban, as every protagonist requires an antagonist to remain relevant.

Months later Babban traces Khalujaan again, this time posing a Nawab of Chandipur, Iftikar Hussain, at a poetry contest. It is a Mushaira organized by Begum Para (Madhuri Dixit), the widowed Begum of Majidabad as per the wishes of her deceased husband. The winner would win the Begum as bride and in turn become the Nawab of Majidabad, as per the wishes of her late husband.However, by the opening night, Babban traces Khalujaan. Khalu tells Babban that the necklace was indeed lost. Babban confronts Khalujaan and tries to get him to return with him.Soon Babban falls in love with Begum Para's assistant, Muniya (Huma Qureshi), while Khalujaan has his heart set on Begum herself. Kahlu wants to win the contest, become the Nawab & then take off with Begum's wealth.

Meanwhile, Khalujaan has his task cut out for him -- he needs to fool the gathering into accepting him as an aristocrat, win the poetry contest if possible, and seduce the Begum.To complicate the matters there is another suitor in the fray, a local MLA-gangster Jaan Mohammed (Vijay Raaz), who posing as a poet, making a poet Nawab Italwi (Manoj Pahwa) write poetry for him in captivity. Jaan Mohammed quickly sees Khalu as a threat to his plans of winning over the Begum & becoming the Nawab. Jaan confronts Khalu & Babbar, but they manage to escape.Jaan also holds the title deeds to Para's mansion as her husband had mortgaged the property to him before his death. Jaan tries to pressure Para into choosing him as the next Nawab.

Gradually the story progresses a plot to kidnap the Begum is revealed. Muniya is revealed to be involved & is speaking to a kidnapper in the market to finalize the kidnapping plans. But her plans go awry when her contracted kidnapper is arrested by the police in a different matter.

Muniya now turns her attention to Babban who is hitting on her badly & will do anything for her. Muniya has sex with Babban & entices him to kidnap Para. Babban tries to communicate the plan & the conspiracy to Khalu, but Khalu prohibits Babban from taking any action on Para & vows to tell Para the truth about himself as he truly loves her. He tells Para the truth, but he reacts as if Khalu is joking with her.

Khalujaan tries to impress the Begum by giving her the prized necklace they stole earlier but on the final day Begum declares Jaan Mohammed as her to be husband and new Nawab of Majidabad.

Since the necklace has clearly failed to move the Begum, Khaalujaan decides to see if a gun will serve the purpose better. However, even as he approaches the Begum brandishing his chosen instrument of persuasion, he finds the dowager being hustled away at gunpoint by a masked man. Khalujaan chases them and blocks their way only to discover that the masked man is none other than his nephew Babban.Begum has plotted her own kidnapping to extort money from the new to be Nawab (now Jaan Mohammad) as the Begum was left bankrupt by her late husband.

More twists are then revealed: the Begum was nothing but a dancing-girl (tawaif) who had seduced a middle-aged Nawab and married him, only to find that the Nawab was actually a pauper who supported his lavish way of life by selling his inherited properties and jewels.

That night Muniya joins Babban, Khalu and Para & it is revealed that Muniya was Para's accomplice in the plan. In fact, Muniya and Para are lovers. Para explains that her husband was gay & had no interest in women. She tried getting a divorce, but no one supported her, that's when Muniya came to her rescue & became her friend and lover. Para had to plot her own kidnapping as her husband had left her with no money.

By the time the Nawab died of good living, he had become completely bankrupt and even his palace had been mortgaged to the money-lenders. After his death, the penniless Begum had been helped financially and courted actively by Jaan Mohammad, who was besotted with her. He also wanted the title and status of being the "Nawab of Najibabad." If a mere dancing-girl could marry an aging Nawab and swan around being feted and fawned over as Begum of Majidabad, then Jaan Mohammad, of a similar social background, could likewise climb into the same status by marrying the same girl, now a dowager. The Begum was appalled by this idea. Jaan Mohammad is a man of low birth and uncultured mannerisms, a former street-thug turned politician, with an entourage of sycophantic hoodlums. The idea of marrying such a man was repellent to the Begum, who was anyway in love with her maid-servant. Yet, Jaan Mohammad's debt and his persistence leave the Begum with no choice but to announce a competition for her suitors, as a tactic to delay responding to Jaan's advances.

Thus, the Mushiara was conceived as an elaborate hoax: the late Nawab had never wanted his widow to marry someone else, much less that the winner should be recognized as "Nawab of Majidabad." It was the Begum's own idea, the purpose being to snare a rich man and marry him. The Begum did not want to marry Jaan Mohammad, but she wanted his money, therefore she was staging a kidnapping in order to receive a ransom from Jaan Mohammad. She has employed Babban to act as her kidnapper and extort a hefty ransom from Jaan Mohammad, who was expected to pay up because otherwise he would never fulfill his dream of becoming a Nawab.

Babban calls Jaan Mohammed to bring Rs 10 Crore ransom money to a railway station who now is aware of Begum's plan, as the original kidnapper turns out to be a member of Jaan's gang and reveals the truth to him.

All four reach the railway station to collect money but find the bag empty and surrounded by Jaan Mohammad's goons. Much to their good fortune Nawab Italwi arrives with police force and cross-firing starts. Begum and Muniya escape from the situation leaving behind Babban and Khalujaan only to be arrested. One and half month later both get bail and a message from Begum and Muniya who are now settled in an unknown city by selling off the prized necklace.

The duo is once again surrounded by Mushtaq (Salman Shahid) and his gang.