A loverlorn tanning salon employee, a homey grandma and her bad-ass biker tenant, a lame gang, a nosediving intellectual, and a dis-uniting father and son. Connect 5 is the chance for these absurdly real people to risk it all. These five stories are bound together by a roving evil man, who "pushes" them out of the rut of life. Charity, the tanning salon chick, dumps her boyfriend for the tender affection of a ten-year-old. The lame gang battles fist to fist with the legions of Satan. Norma hires a young stud biker to be the "man of her house." Frank and Frank take a ride down memory lane that ends in a 50 car emotional pile-up. Capslock recircuits his computer network to locate a girl obsessed with her vagina. And the evil man himself? He wanted a van. A big black rapist van. With no windows. Like a big fat hammerhead shark. This would be Satan's van. An evil van... for an evil man. But all he got was a mauve Geo prism with primer. So he crushes a dog, hi-jacks an ice cream truck, rocket-vomits on yuppies, kidnaps a chicken named "Balls," tongue-kisses Charity, rips the doors off his Geo metro and let "Balls" the chicken shit all over the backseat. He's making a list, checking it twice, and he's packing a big sack of whoop-ass.—Anonymous