Sir Sidney Ruff-Diamond looks after the British outpost near the Khyber Pass. Protected by the kilted Third Foot and Mouth regiment, you would think they were safe but the Khazi of Kalabar has other ideas.
Sir Sidney Ruff-Diamond looks after the British outpost near the Khyber Pass. Protected by the kilted Third Foot and Mouth regiment, you would think they were safe. But the Khazi of Kalabar has other ideas. He wants all the British dead! But his troops fear the "skirted-devils"; they are rumoured not to wear anything underneath. Then one is caught with his pants on...—Simon N. McIntosh-Smith <[email protected]>
1895, India is the brightest jewel in the British crown. British officers and their wives enjoy a life of luxury in India, matched only by the lifestyle of the local Maharajas.
Sir Sidney Ruff-Diamond (Sid James) is Queen Victoria's Governor in the British India province of Khalabar near the Khyber Pass. The province is defended by the feared 3rd Foot and Mouth Regiment (The Devils in Skirts), who are said to not wear anything under their kilts.Sidney lives like a King himself, and travels on an Elephant, and has every comfort that he can think of. But he has a fat and unattractive wife in Lady Joan. His life was an endless procession of receptions, balls, ceremonial processions, tiger shoots and polo.
The 3rd regiment guards the Khyber Pass, the gateway to India. The Khyber Pass is very windy and Private Widdle is discomforted with the wind blowing up his skirt. He decides to wear underpants to reduce the discomfort and provide some warmth. Sergeant Major MacNutt (Terry Scott) is contemptuous towards Widdle and assigns him 4 hours of extra guard duty.
Private Widdle (Charles Hawtrey) is found wearing underpants after an encounter with the warlord Bungdit Din (Bernard Bresslaw), chief of the warlike Burpa tribe. Bungdit wanted to pass the Khyber and approached Widdle who was alone on guard duty. Bungdit offers his sword as a bribe, but Widdle faints after seeing the sword and Bungdit uses the opportunity to confirm his suspicion.
Bungdit reports the news and the underpants to the Khasi. The Khasi is the richest and the most powerful ruler in Northen India. The Khasi hates Sydney and is looking for an opportunity to rally the locals against British Military supremacy.
The Khasi of Khalabar (Kenneth Williams) plans to use this information to incite an anti-British rebellion. He aims to dispel the "tough" image of the Devils in Skirts by revealing that contrary to popular belief, they do indeed wear underpants under their kilts.The locals have been fearful of the image of the regiment charging at them wearing nothing underneath, and the Khasi and Bungdit believe that nobody will fear them once they know that their private parts are safely ensconced in their underpants and have no danger of failing about if their skirts start flying in the wind.
The regiment is then reassigned to protect the Governor's mansion. MacNutt reports the Widdle matter to Major Shorthouse (Julian Holloway), who takes it to Captain Keene and the Governor. Keene knows that a little thing like this can trigger a full blown riot. Keene suggests to scratch the rumor before it spreads too far.
A diplomatic operation ensues on the part of the British, who fail spectacularly to prove that the incident was an aberration. The Governor's wife Lady Joan Ruff-Diamond (Joan Sims), in the hope of luring the Khasi into bed with her, takes a photograph of an inspection in which many of the soldiers present are found wearing underpants, and takes it to him. With this hard evidence in hand, the Khasi would be able to muster a ferocious Afghan invasion force, storm the Khyber Pass and reclaim India from British rule; but Lady Ruff-Diamond insists that he sleep with her before she parts with the photograph. He delays on account of her non-attractiveness, eventually taking her away with him to Bungdit Din's palace.
Meanwhile, the Khasi's daughter, Princess Jelhi (Angela Douglas), reveals to the British Captain Keene (Roy Castle), with whom she has fallen in love, that the Governor's wife has eloped with the Khasi, and a team is dispatched to return her and the photo to British hands. Disguised as Afghan generals, the British interlopers are brought into the palace and, at the Khasi's suggestion, are introduced to Bungdit Din's sultry concubines.
Whilst enjoying the women in the harem, they are unmasked amid a farcical orgy scene, imprisoned, and scheduled to be executed at sunset along with the Governor's wife. The Khasi's daughter aids their escape in disguise as dancing girls, but during the entertaining of the Afghan generals, the Khasi, contemptuous of an annoying fakir's performance, demands that he see the dancing girls instead.
After their disguises are seen through, the British and the Princess flee, but Lady Ruff-Diamond drops the photograph on leaving the palace through the gardens. The group returns to the Khyber Pass to find its guards massacred and their weapons comically mutilated, in a rare moment of (albeit tainted) poignancy. All attempts to hold off the advancing hordes fail miserably, and a hasty retreat is beaten to the Residency.
The Governor, meanwhile, has been entertaining, in numerical order, the Khasi's fifty-one wives, each one of them wishing to "right the wrong" that his own wife and the Khasi himself have supposedly committed against him (though no such wrong took place), by offering themselves to the Governor. After a browbeating from his wife, Sir Sidney calls a crisis meeting regarding the invasion, in which he resolves to "do nothing". A black-tie dinner is arranged for that evening.
Dinner takes place during a prolonged penultimate scene, with contrapuntal snippets of the Khasi's army demolishing the Residency's exterior, and the officers and ladies ignoring the devastation as they dine. Shells shaking the building and plaster falling into the soup do not interrupt dinner, even when the fakir's severed - but still talking - head is served, courtesy of the Khasi.
Only Brother Belcher fails to display a stiff upper lip, and panics like a normal person. Finally, at Captain Keene's suggestion, the gentlemen walk outside to be greeted by a bloody battle being waged in the courtyard. Still dressed in black tie, Sir Sidney orders the Regiment to form a line and lift their kilts, this time exposing their lack of underwear. The invading army is terrified, and retreats at once. The gentlemen walk back inside to resume dinner, whilst Brother Belcher notices the Union flag flown by the governor bearing the slogan I'm Backing Britain and calls them "raving mad".
