An idiosyncratic group of patients wreak havoc in the men's surgical ward of Haven Hospital. They decide to take their revenge on the frosty Matron, and there is even a spot of DIY surgery!
Set in Haven Hospital where a certain men's ward is causing more havoc than the whole hospital put together. The formidable Matron's debut gives the patients a chill every time she walks past, with only Reckitt standing up to her. There's a colonel who is a constant nuisance, a bumbling nurse, a romance between Ted York and Nurse Denton, and Bell who wants his bunion removed straight away, so after drinking alcohol, the men decide to remove the bunion themselves!—Graeme Huggan <[email protected]>
Hijinx, especially between the female nurses, the patients, and their visitors at the King George V Ward, the men's public ward run under the iron grip of the stern Matron, of Haven Hospital, are presented. Beyond Matron, other players include: the Colonel, currently in a private room, he who is the bane of the nurses' existence in being demanding about nothing related to his health, yet still misses the goings-on in the dormitory, the ruckuses which he can hear on the other side of his closed door; reporter Ted York, in for appendicitis, he who is asked by his editor to do an exposé on the goings-on at "a" hospital and who seemingly has his romantic eye on Nurse Dorothy Denton who in turn has her romantic eye on Mr. Stephens, one of the surgeons; boxer Bernie Bishop, in for a fractured wrist sustained in a bout, it which will put his career on hold and which makes him think about packing it in altogether as he believes his wife Jane Bishop doesn't like him fighting; patients Oliver Reckitt and Humphrey Hinton largely living in their own very narrow worlds as an intellectual bookworm and audiophile, respectively, although single Oliver is surprised to receive visits from pretty Jill Thompson, who he doesn't really know, she the sister of a friend; insomniac patient Bert Able; seemingly posh patient Henry Bray who sees being in the public ward as an adventure, he who is really less than upper crust; Percy Hickson, a workers compensation case with a broken leg in having fallen off some scaffolding at work, he having one problem after another in his immobility in being in traction; Jack Bell, in for what seems to be a minor surgery to remove a bunion, he who is constantly dismayed to have his surgery delayed time and time again which affects his ability to eat and which may kibosh upcoming romantic plans; and Stella Dawson and Miss Nightingale, student nurses in the day shift and night shift, respectively, they the causes of many of the ruckuses in the ward but for vastly different reasons.—Huggo
The journalist Ted York (Terence Longdon) is rushed to Haven Hospital with appendicitis. The ambulance gets there at top speed, but only because the driver wants to know the result of a horse race. Ted has appendicitis and is admitted into the general ward also called the King George V ward. He is expected to remain in the hospital for 10 days. In preparation for the surgery, Ted is given a shave in the abdomen area. Ted is given a bed and is instantly smitten with Nurse Denton (Shirley Eaton). The Due to the effect of strong sedatives, Ted is half drowsy and ends up kissing nurse Denton.
Other nurses are incessantly having to respond to the calls of the Colonel (Wilfrid Hyde-White), who has a private room. The Colonel is an inveterate gambler and is having his bets placed by Mick (Harry Locke), the orderly. The Colonel has been at the hospital for half a day and has already summoned the nurses a dozen times.
That evening, the boxer Bernie Bishop (Kenneth Connor) is admitted after hurting his hand at the end of a bout. Bernie did not want to get admitted but was forced by his wife Jane (Susan Shaw).The next day, the sister (Joan Hickson) galvanizes the nurses, orderly and patients for the inspection by Matron (Hattie Jacques).
As usual, she is let down by Nurse Dawson (Joan Sims), a clumsy probationer. Matron checks on the progress of the patients, and speaks to Mr. Hinton (Charles Hawtrey), who is forever listening to the radio with his headphones. Mr Hinton fashions himself to be a musical conductor.Mick and the Colonel bet on how long the Matron will take on her rounds. Mick had bet 14:02 and Colonel had bet 14:50, and the Matron finished the round in 12 minutes and 20 seconds.
Ted is visited by his editor and agrees to write a series of articles on his hospital experiences. He realizes that Nurse Denton is in love with Surgeon Stephens (John Van Eyssen), but that her interest is not returned as Stephens has a roving eye and constantly ogles at other good looking nurses.Bernie is told that he will not be able to box for several months at least, and that he would have to take an anesthetic for his procedure to set his wrist the right way before it can be plastered. Bernie objects and says that he is used to handling pain.
Percy Hickson (Bill Owen) is another patient at the hospital, who is visited by his wife Marge (Irene Handl). Percy was injured in a workplace accident and broke his leg and Marge helps him fill out the union compensation forms.
Nurse Dawson is sent to ring the bell to signal the end of visiting hours, but she calls for the fire brigade by mistake. As a result, 2 firefighters are dispatched to the hospital by the fire station.
The bookish intellectual Oliver Reckitt (Kenneth Williams) (who claims to be studying nuclear physics and is bothered by the interruptions due to Matron's rounds of the wards) is visited by Jill (Jill Ireland), the sister of his friend Harry. They clearly like each other but are too shy to admit it. Bernie urges Oliver to admit how he really feels about her.
Bernie's manager Ginger (Michael Medwin) and his assistant Norm (Norman Rossington) come by to visit Bernie. Ginger tells him that he must try to be more of a showman and not simply go for broke with every match. Ginger says that Bernie needs a gimmick so that the public can associate to him alone.
Nurse Dawson comes in early to sterilize some rubber catheters but is interrupted by the demanding Colonel. The catheters are put in a kidney dish to boil on the stove.Oliver is furious when the ward must be cleared and tidied up for Matron's rounds as it upsets his schedule for no obvious purpose. When she arrives everyone begins to smell the forgotten catheters, which by now are burning on the stove. When Matron stops to speak to Oliver, he complains about the disruptive effects that her visits have on the patients. Matron is furious and has the sister make all the beds again.
Jack Bell (Leslie Phillips) arrives to have a bunion removed and is placed on the ward.Jill comes to see Oliver and they admit that they care for each other. She gives him a bar of nougat as a gift, but later that evening it makes him sick. Mr. Able (Cyril Chamberlain) complains that he can't sleep as he has been missing his wife. He is put on medication, but it makes him wildly excited, and he runs amok in the hospital. Eventually Bernie subdues him with a left hook to the jaw.
Bell's operation is delayed, which upsets him greatly as he is planning a romantic weekend. He offers the men in the ward the champagne he was going to drink with his girlfriend. They all get drunk and decide to remove the bunion themselves. The night nurse is tied up and Hinton pretends to be her while the others go to the operating theatre. Jack starts to panic as Oliver prepares to operate, but soon they are all giggling as the laughing gas has been left on. The nurse arrives before any real damage is done.
The colonel plays a trick on Nurse Dawson and pins a piece of paper with a large red 'L' on her back. Ted learns that Nurse Denton is applying for a job in America and tries to dissuade her. Jack catches a cold and is told that his operation will have to postponed yet again.
Oliver is discharged and leaves with Jill. Bernie is met by his young son, and they leave together. Ted is also discharged and makes a date with Nurse Denton. Nurse Dawson and Nurse Axwell (Susan Stephen) decide to get even with the Colonel and replace a rectal thermometer with a daffodil. Luckily for them, upon her inspection, Matron manages to see the funny side.
