Captain Amazingly Incredible is the world's most realistic super hero, who whores out desperate homeless women to pay the bills. Unfortunately for the Captain, the whoring must be put on hold.

Captain Amazingly Incredible is alerted to a sudden growth in the Earth's vampire population by his good, albeit chubby friend, Jack Spartan of the NYPD. After a brief and pointless meeting at Jack's office, the Captain, Jack and damsel in distress Tallulah Diamond head off to the Evil Planet to put an end to the Evil Doctor's vile plans for world domination via vamp-o-ray. Unfortunately for the brave trio, the Evil Doctor always seems to be one step ahead and they are met with a gang consisting of the doctor's only son, Brogor and two vicious and very bald henchmen. The evil trio kidnap Tallulah and blast the heroes with a slow-moving ray gun, leaving them for dead... but our heroes have more than a few tricks hidden up their sleeves... as well as the odd ray-gun-blast-stopping bible.—Karl Burnett