- Tim Allen
- Santa
- Diana Arone
- Girl at beach
- Michael Boland
- Hick with Yellow Sweater
- Greg Brennan
- Hick that eats the keys and then gets shot by the river
- Josh Briggs
- Hick with Beard and Buttcrack
- Rachel Castillo
- Sarah
- Adam Deyoe
- Guy at beach
- Lady Dwenivere
- Poochie
- Casey Dzierlenga
- Meg - Sloppy Poppy's Wife
- Laura Glascott
- Francine
- Eric Gosselin
- Erock
- James Griffin
- Hick with inexplicably long unibrow
- James Hall
- Estaban
- George Hardy
- Edwin 'Edward' R. Gophercum
- Jeb Heil
- T-Bone
- Aaron Iddings
- Hick that eats James' guts
- Kahlah Jones
- Little girl
- Marques Jones
- Father
- Monica Katzenell
- Other hick who gets shot running towards outhouse
- Lloyd Kaufman
- Lewis Dickinson
- Eric Kench
- Eco-Elixor Training Guy
- Kester Krueger
- Car Stealing Hick
- Gertrude Lamerod
- Jessica
- Chris Lutz
- Hick who gets shot running towards outhouse
- Christina Lutz
- Lady hick that gets stuffed down toilet
- Adam Malamut
- Brock
- Jim Martin
- James
- Ryan Martin
- Pedophile Hick
- Craig Massie
- Hick with Straw Hat
- Thaddeus McFartstien
- Thaddeus McFartstien
- John McPhee
- Stanley Wipplethorp
- Allen Nalasco
- Doctor 2
- Dave Paige
- Mr. Mittman / Hick That Didn't Show Their Face
- Dawn Persson
- Hick That Smashes Car Window
- Sierra Pettengill
- Hick That Falls from Balcony
- Roddy Piper
- Roddy
- Meghan Pochebit
- Doctor 1
- Jon Recher
- Doctor 3
- Thom Sigsby
- Sam
- Christopher Sousa
- Guy at college
- Oscar Spear
- Lord Buckley
- Thomas Adrian Villalobos
- Tommy Guns
- Rob Wilson
- Non-Descript Hick
- Noah Wolf
- Sloppy Poppy
- Andrew Yoon
- Hick with Green Sweatshirt
