- Lennie Loftin
- Chief of Police
- Danny DeVito
- District Attorney
- Robert Ben Garant
- Deputy Travis Junior
- Niecy Nash
- Deputy Raineesha Williams
- Mary Birdsong
- Deputy Cherisha Kimball
- Kerri Kenney
- Deputy Trudy Wiegel
- Wendi McLendon-Covey
- Deputy Clementine Johnson
- Carlos Alazraqui
- Deputy James Garcia
- Cedric Yarbrough
- Deputy S. Jones
- Thomas Lennon
- Lieutenant Jim Dangle
- Alejandra Gutierrez
- Miss Acapulco
- Brandon Molale
- Kevlar Guy
- Kathryn Fiore
- Cheyenne the Helicopter Model
- David Koechner
- Sheriff of Aspen
- Dave Holmes
- Persnickety Desk Worker
- Patton Oswalt
- Jeff Spoder
- Toby Huss
- Glen the Desk Clerk
- Cathy Shim
- Spring Break Dream Girl
- Ian Roberts
- Captain Rogers, DHS
- Chris Tallman
- Alligator Expert
- Tamara Fox Meyerson
- Tammy
- Paul Rudd
- Ethan the Drug Lord
- Marisa Petroro
- Drug Lord's Girlfriend
- Kyle Dunnigan
- Drug Lord's First Hostage
- David Wain
- Breen the Plumber
- Todd Holoubek
- Tattooed Guy
- Michael Patrick Jann
- Tattoo Shop Owner #1
- Nick Swardson
- Terry
- Brian T. Finney
- Decontamination Guy
- Irina Voronina
- Russian Model
- Steve Little
- Drug Lord's Second Hostage
- Joe Lo Truglio
- Tattoo Shop Owner #2
- Ken Marino
- Deaf Tattoo Artist
- Kevin Allison
- Tattoo Victim
- Eric Price
- Wrestling Referee
- Kathryn Smith
- Jello Wrestler
- David Veach
- Dangle's "Body Double"
- Mary Castro
- Wiegel's "Body Double"
- Michael Ian Black
- Ron of Ron's Tattoo
- Michael Showalter
- Paul
- Shanti Hall
- Hot Paramedic
- Mindy Sterling
- Spoder's Mom
- Matthew Budds
- Clapping Cop
- Michael Hoback
- Barry Baum
- Paul Reubens
- Sir Terrence
- Jack Plotnick
- Steve Marmella
- Oscar Nuñez
- Jose Jose Jose
- Floyd Van Buskirk
- Proctologist
- Tracy Dali
- Bike Cop
- Jason Bartley
- Mansion Gunman
- David Cohen
- Policeman
- Rico Devereaux
- Smoking Cop
- Paul Edney
- HAZMAT Squad Member
- Duke Gonzalez
- Duke Gonzalez
- Dwayne Johnson
- Rick Smith, S.W.A.T.
- Theresa Joy
- Roller Babe
- Kent Kasper
- Alabama State Trooper
- Alyssa LeBlanc
- Stripper
- Larissa Maloney
- Erica
- J.P. Manoux
- Naked Armenian
- Jill-Michele Meleán
- Southern Spring Breaker
- JT Mollner
- Newspaper Reporter
- Deborah Ouellette
- Hot Airport Passenger
- Bobby Silva
- Bartender
- Aaron Takahashi
- Japanese Tourist
- Jason Williams
- Police Officer
- Jaime Zevallos
- Police Officer
