- Michelle Polec
- Damsel in Distress / Sneetch Knife
- Jesse Wozniak
- The Junkie
- Peter Litvin
- Hectic Knife
- James A. Sands
- Mobster #1
- Don Abood
- Mobster #2
- Edward Colon
- Mobster #3
- Darryl Terrell
- Mobster's Victim
- Andy Could
- Villian #4
- Luis Anthony Maldonado
- Villain #3
- Michael Anthony
- Villian #5
- Andrea Baquero
- La Reina / Vampire / Victim #1
- Georgia Kate Haege
- Frannie Glooper
- Mike Leone
- Thug #1
- John Munnelly
- Link
- Richard Kohn
- Harry
- Robert Bella
- The Comedian Thug
- Stefan Robert
- Colfing Thug
- Richie Blackwood
- The Indian Guru
- Michael Hitchcock
- The Nerd / Bulldog / Football
- Joey Cipriano
- Head Explosion Boy
- Niki Cipriano
- Head Explosion Girl
- Traci Ann Wolfe
- Porch
- J.J. Brine
- Piggly Doctor
- Rockin Ray
- Self
- Derek Stusynski
- Diaper Boy
- Mindy Matijasevic
- Farshey
- Jessica Moore
- Jin Jin
- Shelly Marie Valdez
- The Politician
- Randy Hutch
- Hectic Knife's Dad
- Julie Litvin
- Waitress
- Penny Gibbs
- Hectic Knife's Mom
- Dan Ianitelli
- Gyp Knife
- Alexis Cundiff
- Little Knifey
- Peter Falcetti
- The Fat Fuck
- Leah Debene
- Hectic Knife Fan
- Ashley McCuen
- Bikini Babe
- Charles Marleau
- Football Player
- Ashley Wingrove
- The Waitress / Actress
