- Jed Rowen
- Pvt. Parts / Harold The Babyboomer Asshole / Johnny Florida / Agent Santori / Cleetus / Mickey Crowbar / Anonymous Worker / Doctor Harry Samuels Beard M.D. / Homeless Joe
- Felissa Rose
- Carolyn The M.I.L.F. / Tiffany
- Richard Grove
- Agent David Coleman
- B.J. Hendricks
- Officer Goodwin
- Ethan Phillips
- Agent Larry Cornbloom
- J.A. Steel
- Sexy Bounty Hunter
- John Payne
- Agent Gary Ladelfo / Cpl. Punishment / Da Boss
- Adam Ropp
- Agent Norris / Pseudo Probee
- David Stay
- Agent Jefferson Kincaid
- Vicky Jenson
- Actress
- El Diablo
- Benjamin
- Scott Ingalls
- Sgt. Slaughter / Stoolie
- Mighty Mike Murga
- MIkey / Lil' Bruno
- Steve Anderson
- Eccentric Billionaire
- Ross Marshall
- Boseefus
- Rai Alexandra
- Chickadee
- Shahe Assilian
- Sonny
- Shiron Butterfly
- Awards Show Host
- Oscar Ray
- Probee #1
- Jenny Labow
- Baby
- Katharina Lejona
- Sylvania
- Michaelia Carroll
- Diamond
- Alex Cabo
- Donnie The Hat
- Shaun Charney
- Ninja / San Francisco Steve
- Edwin Villa
- Gay Jealous Julio
- James Jackson
- Alien Smut Peddler
- Greg Quinn
- Clowaca
- Thurman Jackson
- Badass P.I.M.P.
- John-Paul Nickel
- Agent Theolonious Nickel
- Mitchel Auman
- Agent Davis
- Liz O'Gara
- Doctor Mary Louise Beard M.D.
- Sizzle the Stripper
- Alien
- Zlicious
- Sexpot Stefani
- Heidi Honeycutt
- Bikini Whore
- Ford Austin
- Sir Lord William J. Dillingsworth Pickenstripe XIV Count Earl of Duke
- Brian Corder
- Bloodthirsty Bob
- David Lu
- Vietnamese Gardner
- Rick Luellen
- Crazed Fan
- Chris Watson
- Mute Boy
- Amber Welsh
- (as Cassaundra Young)
