- Matthew Ellsworth
- Matthew
- Jason Ellsworth
- Jason
- Matteo Molinari
- Bernardo
- Jenn Liu
- Amy
- Josh Sterling
- Josh
- Shaun Landry
- Diane / Main Shark
- Autumn Crockett
- Anastasia 'Bikini Girl'
- Anna Cantarelli
- Bloody Hand
- Christopher Tisa
- Billy 'Boyfriend'
- Diane Levy
- Sharon
- Ben Palacios
- Alejandro 'Dream Guy'
- Arthur Harder
- Arthur
- Heidi Godt
- Matthew's Mom
- Sheila Marie Shostac
- Quizzical Employee
- Kai Cofer
- Homeless Wizard
- Justin Argueta
- Uber Driver
- Chumley
- Self
- Liza Doll
- Porn Website Voice / Wardrobe Girl
- Justin Bryant
- Cop
- Matthew Warren
- Shark Stooges
- Tristan Ott
- Disposable Security Guard
- Dale E. Turner
- Dale 'Director'
- Andrew Nguyen
- Selfie Guy
- Carlen Clark
- (Bob) Johnny
