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During World War II, PFC Molnár decides his military service is over, and with a serious amount of money hidden in hand grenades, he heads to an abandoned mansion where he encounters not only the sour butler but a bunch of others who are also trying to wimp out on their duties.

A platoon of mismatched soldiers crosses the front-line to steal the bull that the enemy is to fight on the village's patron-saint's day. In addition to ruining the nationals' celebration, they want to butcher the animal to feed their famished troops. They get caught in the procession and must go through a series of funny and not-so-funny incidents before they can return to their side.

The members of S.A.D.U.S.E.A. (Song and Dance Unit South East Asia) fall in and out of love while trying to dodge Malayan Communist bullets in the late 1940s. Not only that, they have to contend with Bible bashing Major Giles Flack (John Cleese), who creates far more danger than any of the jungle inhabitants. Only gay Acting Captain Terri Dennis (Denis Quilley) seems to be capable of coping with him, but even he isn't aware of the cowardly Sergeant Major Reg Drummond (Michael Elphick) selling arms to the natives.

During WW2, Sgt. O'Farrell's Pacific unit is demoralized when a Japanese submarine torpedoes an American supply ship containing beer.

In World War II, desert hotel proprietors Emad and Yasmin are caught between the warring armies and have to constantly shift their political allegiance to whichever army happens to control the area.

Reza and his friend Mansoor are pickpockets. When Reza by his mother becomes aware that a rich girl has take an oath to marry a war injured person he decides to get close to her and find a way to marry her and inherit her fortune.