Summary "American Idol" - Jan. 29, 2009

Auditions - Puerto Rico & New York

Ryan is all excited that they're bringing us two cities in one show!

We see all the hopefuls in both places.

We meet Adeola who quit her job the day before because she's so confident and has been compared to Mariah Carey. She is, of course, awful singing "And I'm Telling You" from "Dreamgirls." They let her go on and on. Simon says she needs to retract her resignation letter because she was terrible. He says he will phone her boss to help get her job back. She tries to sing again. They tell her to keep her day job. Simon says they should seriously get her boss on the phone. They do. Simon sits with Adeola and asks the boss for her job back. The boss says she will give it to her.

We switch to Puerto Rico and Jorge, who is very excited to rock America with his voice. He sings "My Way" in Spanish. He sounds okay, sort of Marc Anthony-esque, very dramatic. He tries "What a Wonderful World" in English. They compliment his voice. Kara says it was better in Spanish. They vote him through unanimously.

We meet Jessica a giggler from Michigan, who brought her whole family to San Juan. She's won lots of prizes in her life. She sings "I Surrender" by Celine Dion. She's not horrible, although her pink outfit is. Simon says he surrenders too. Simon calls it awful. She begs for another chance. She cries and begs more. Simon says no. Randy says the sound of her voice is not on point. She says she's nervous and can prove she can sing. Paula says it was really "shrilling." They all turn her down. Randy says it was a bad audition. She walks out saying she knows they're wrong.

We see a montage of people getting rejected and walking out claiming they're actually really great.

We meet Melinda a barefoot, black hippie from Connecticut. She likes to dance naked in her room. She tells Simon she wants to uplift humanity with her voice. They discuss her desire to live in a nudist colony. She sings "Feelin' Good" by Nina Simone. She's pretty good. She smiles and giggles. Randy kinda likes her and her voice and pleasant disposition. Kara calls her a vitamin boost. They vote her through unanimously.

We meet Jackie who's been singing since she was a child and also plays the guitar and considers herself a "rocker." She sings "I'm Yours," by Jason Mraz. She's raspy, goofy, and awful and very busker-esque. Simon asks for her own voice on a regular song. She sings a more straightforward country sounding song and sounds a lot better. "I Do it All"(?). Randy, Kara, and Paula say yes and as Simon is about to cast his vote Jackie asks for direction and the window appears to fall down behind him. Simon nimbly ignores the calamity behind him and tells Jackie the worst thing she can ask someone is what kind of artist she should be. That said, they vote her through unanimously.

We get a montage of bad singers in Puerto Rico who beg and plead pitifully.

We see a montage of bad people from both places including "comics" like the "crazy rocker" Joel from Puerto Rico who is annoying and awful and arrives "wearing" an iPod. He's a "guyPod." Simon says it's everything he hates, the whole act is excruciatingly bad. Joel busts out his lion puppet and sings "Circle of Life." They reject him unanimously.

We meet another "comic" Norman Gentle in New York. Simon says he hates comedy, he just wants him to sing. He sings "And I'm Telling You" badly. They banter back and forth about getting kicked in the groin. Norman tries "Amazing Grace." Simon begs him not to be funny or pull faces. He sits and sings it and is a little a more sincere and is markedly better but still not a great singer. He busts into a Sammy Davis impression. Simon gets annoyed. Paula and Kara say yes because even though he doesn't have a shot in hell,Norman is entertaining. Simon says no. And Randy, because he's a doofus, says yes.

We get a montage of the good singers and/or the hot chicks that sing okay who get put through.

We get another montage of bad singers, Simon making mean quips, and Randy laughing at people.

We meet Monique and her cute kid brother who brought the judges a shell. She sings "You Can't Hurry Love" by the Supremes and she's cute too, breathy but sweet. She sings "I Turn to You" by Christina Aguilera, which is a little weaker. Simon says she should've chosen someone more in her range. Kara says she needs more confidence. They don't think she's ready. Randy and Kara say no. Paula says yes. Simon says yes. She's going to Hollywood.

We meet, again, Alexis an angry contestant from last year who does Buddhist chants now and says she's changed her attitude. They show her angry rants from last year. They show her being friendly to people now. She enters the audition and sings "Like a Prayer" by Madonna. She is still awful. And as it turns out she's still evil when she gets rejected. Simon says she got worse. Kara agrees. Alexis gives them two middle fingers. Simon thanks her. She thanks them and calls Simon an a-hole.

We meet Patricia. Her parents got married at the hotel where the auditions are being held. She sings "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" by Whitney Houston and it's just okay. Simon says it was a bad choice since Whitney, blah, blah, blah. Kara agrees. Simon gives her 30 more seconds. She sings something in Spanish, it actually sounds worse. Randy says yes. Paula says no. We cut away for suspense' sake, which just tells us she made it. And she did.

Auditions, over.

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