Summary A woman who claims to perform acupuncture actually practices crucifixion, explaining that she puts them out in the back yard and 'they're usually gone in the morning.'

When he is accused of prescribing heroin to a girl, a doctor blinds himself by flashing an Aldis lamp into his face and thus enabling him to go home sick (he is intent on driving) and avoid having to give an explanation for his actions.

A couple reluctantly agree to buy a house after the vendor insists that, on top of the asking price, he wants to have sex with the intended purchasers. The couple eventually grow tired of it and the husband lets his mentally handicapped sister take their place for the sex session.

Featuring CCTV footage of his actions, an inept armed robber admits that his plan of holding up a shop with an axe went a bit wrong when "the day I went in with the axe wasn't the same day as the day I made the threatening gestures".

Standing in a rainy field, a man - played by Chris Morris - explains how he survives by living outside and eating moss and insects. He ignores his wife who keeps suggesting he move back in to the house. He tells that sometimes he thinks that it would be so easy to go back in, but it would be giving up. He concludes by saying that he will probably be killed off by a frost when the winter comes.

Whilst giving directions, a man urinates on the side of the car belonging to the man asking for the directions. Bizarrely, the car has urinals all round it, except at the place the man is standing.

Two parents seem totally unconcerned when their young son does not come home from school. It is some time before they bother trying to find out what happened to him. When the police telephone them and say they have found the boy's raped and strangled corpse, the parents are rather annoyed that they are obliged to bury him, and the father vows to "Have a word" - polite but indignant - with the man, a friend, suspected of carrying out the murder.

• Comedy
• Dark Comedy
• Satire
• Sketch Comedy