Summary Hunter becomes furious when the script calls for Stone to kiss Laura. She asks Quentin to join her in complaining to the producers, persuading him that his character's popularity stems from his relationship with Becky and "not because he's been a high school senior for five years and works at a tire factory." Quentin changes his mind after Dave (who is hitting him up for money at the time) insists that kissing another girl will make him even more popular. Hunter overhears Quentin insulting her and hits him in the face with a basketball. She tells Courtney that Quentin has herpes on his lip in the hopes that she will refuse to do the kiss. The network is put off by the scene because of Quentin's excessive use of tongue. Network executives declare that Becky and Stone must stay together, ruining the entire sweeps story arc that Rob and Hope had planned. Marcy hopes to get Johnny to watch the season premiere with her, but ends up having to organize a huge catered affair at a club. After Johnny refuses to give him money for car repairs, Dave steals from Marcy. He feels guilty when she then gives him a generous loan. Dave cheers up Marcy at her party, assuring her that any guy would be lucky to have a wonderful person like her. He joins her for a karaoke duet after Johnny turns her down, and she seems to be having a good time. She freaks out after spotting Johnny and Courtney in an apparent kiss, unaware that he was teaching her the art of the "stage kiss," in which the actors' lips don't actually touch. Hope grows tired of a network executive's insistence on beginning and ending each meeting with kisses.

• Comedy
• Satire